And thank you for that. I can't afford to subscribe right now, but will when I can. Yes, we are all feeling this, but man, it's validating to read it written down by someone whose not me.
Just like every other human being who had to live through all those other tumultuous times throughout all of history. Except that the difference this time is that we know about all of the horrors all over the world with constant updates every minute of the day. And also multiple very real planet-wide existential threats unfolding simultaneously. There has actually never been a moment quite like this in all of human history. Be nice if life could be boring again for a change.
Thank you for this. I'm one of the very few who have benefitted over the past 4-5 years, while empathizing and sympathizing with those who were suffering. My world came crashing down in 2009, then again in 2012, but Obama's Administration had passed laws that helped me through. When tfg was elected and the pandemic hit, I'd found ways to rebound and cope. I was on a personal mission to keep myself sane, on a positive personal path, and make a positive difference in people's lives in whatever small way I could. I was overjoyed when tfg didn't start WWIII while my son was deployed in S. Korea. I was grateful for him to be in one of the safest countries through the worst of the pre-vax pandemic.
I say all this to tell you that it will end. I learned yesterday that one of my son's childhood friends who seemed to lean quite far right is engaged to a white cis-male Democrat... in Oklahoma!! Just when you think the next generation is trundling down the wrong path, this happens. And my far right stepson is marrying a Democrat -- one who works in policy on the Hill. She's brilliant and engages him in meaningful dialogue to the point that he voted against tfg the second time.
So don't give up hope. There is an undercurrent of centrist thought in this country that earns no one cash for clicks and we vote. And we'll keep on voting. And we'll win. We also turn off lights in rooms we're not using, conserve resources, recycle as much as possible, and spread kindness wherever we go.
And on a personal note: I fucking love everything you write. Thank you for sharing!!
I'm glad you wrote this piece. I'm also tired. And I don't have hope. I've read enough history to believe that any part of what WAS good in this country will likely soon come crashing down. A country I was raised to love, that my father "fought for", I love no more. Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is. But I'm not even indifferent. I'm heartbroken. We've had so much opportunity to be better than we have ever actually been, and we've thrown it away. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry to all those inside and outside of my country that we've damaged. I'm just sorry.
I so agree with you. I've half joked with others about 'finding another country' and get a bunch of flack because I'm not 'loyal' or willing to fight. I'm like bitch, I was in the Navy, what have YOU done for your country? I've voted, paid taxes, went to rallies, written my senator a time or two... nothing amazing, but I've participated in being a citizen and was proud to be American. I'm no longer proud - I'm embarrassed - and feel the need to explain my lack of alliance with all the crazy to those that might lump me in with the ignorant. I told my mom, if I go to overseas, I'm telling people I'm from Canada...
"I support my community" ... that's all I have left. If I didn't want to improve my community, I would have nothing to push me every day. The country is in doubt, but at least I have my community to fight for!
Where would you go? Fascism is winning everywhere. Europe is in no better shape than North America. I've done some research about places I could move to (from the US) and really, there aren't many good options. The best option is probably north to Canada, but y'all won't take me, and my wife hates snow :)
That all would depress me if I wasn’t already living in it. All we can do is let each other know we hear and relate. Empathy isn’t a strong enough word.
Feel you, man. I finally broke two days ago, seeing the horrors in Bucha. And yesterday, Zelenskyy’s face as he saw it – to be a Jew standing over a mass grave…a grief that can’t find words.
Thank everything sacred for this post. I'm so burned out I'm thinking of asking for a sabbatical from a job I love, because the world is shit and the country I live in is like 70% of that shit and nothing feels worth it anymore. I'm pursuing the hell out of the things that still give me some feeling of agency -- my reaction is to get to the gym *more,* but everyone's mileage on that varies -- and like you, I've got a great job, health, loving family, but my country is crap and the past several years prove that, to a large extent, it always has been. Like Russians today, I fully expect to be on one of the last trains, busses, roads, or planes out of this country in the next several years, and will understand if no other country on Earth will have me or any of us.
To top it off, I worked like hell for decades to get the correct diagnosis and treatment for my PTSD, and for what? -- this!?!?
So yes, I see you. And to the extent of knowing you're not alone and you have the virtual support of strangers may help, believe me you have mine. Your Sweary History is one of the first things I read every day online, just for that sweet endorphin jolt. Thank you for creating one of the bright spots in the world.
I've been exhausted from all this social and politic bullshit since early 2020 - between the advent of Trumps ever-present bullshit on the media, Covid and the continued de-evolution of Conservatives, I turned off all news back in 4/2020. I'm now probably the least informed I've ever been in my life, but when I peek inside once in awhile to see what's what, I just want to bury my head in the sand again. I struggle with this because you cant be part of the change by burying your head, but I also cant sustain against the onslaught of so many assholes. There are just so many that get viable air time, it's depressing! Soo, I just live in my bubble. I used to love to debate - friendly political debates among friends, but I wouldnt touch that with a 50' pole anymore. I will defriend you if you're a Trump supporter and instantly lose respect and judge people who are. I cant help it. I tried to 'live with the differences' early on, but it's too fundamental. For me, it's like saying, "I'm sure Manson had some redeeming qualities...". Anyways, I get it. It's painful to be a rational, moderate democratic human these days.
Just what I was thinking and saying today - first it was climate change and Greta and all the fuckwits that opposed what she was trying to say, then the tea parties across the western world leading to trump and brexit, then loss of biodiversity, then covid, then the feeling of loss when I look at my (adult married) daughter and I think, her future is kind of robbed, her generation and the younger, their futures feel robbed. And then Ukraine. On top of Chechenya, Syria, Afghanistan, Middle East.... Russia is my next door neighbour so Ukraine hits home hard; Russia may have its monster eye on us too (Finland). And our neighbours the Baltic countries. I grew up distrusting Russia, then about 10yrs ago felt that hmm, maybe they are ok? then Crimea in 2014 and it was all shattered again. Now Russia is War Criminal #1 until way past my lifetime.... Yeah. Tired just about covers it. I'm fineish in my personal life but feel collectively burnt out. Where is joy?... I hear you, all of you <3 Thanks for this piece.
Fellow Canadian here but we had gone to live in the Caribbean since I am lacking any Canadian DNA to enjoy Winter. To say 2016 was a shitshow is an understatement as it started with me coming back to Canada in January. Bad enough on its own but I was back for surgery for cancer. Easy peasy, surgery and then some radiation and you will be back to the warmth by April. Well, that went pear-shaped quickly. Let's throw in chemo, Mom dying, another surgery and then radiation. I finally made it back home in September. All along there had been rumblings about Trump. I kept thinking, there is no fucking way he will win. We all started to get nervous as the election loomed closer. The night of the election as the bo-peep frogs were chirping I put my phone down thinking Hillary has to win. I woke-up at 0600 and looked my phone and when I saw he had won my heart started pounding like a cartoon heart. I put my phone back down and I had an overwhelming feeling of dread thinking -- this will not end well. I have felt this way ever since. If he had even half acknowledged COVID he would have won a second term. 2017 wasn't much better as Irma slammed into our island. We finally look at leaving our Caribbean home for good and return to Canada --- February 2020! So many of us must have variations of your story. I am tired. One upside was discovering your writing. Thank you.
Thank You so much for sharing what so many of us are feeling. It cab be hard all day out in the world, and having a place, where someone will say Ugh, me too, soooooo tired. The horrors in Ukraine and the brutality of humans is just depressing and exhausting, and I am not giving up either, but I just don't know have much hope and I don't know where to put what little energy I have left after working in healthcare and trying to keep my family safe.
This is _exactly_ how I feel. My personal cherry on top of the shit sandwich that has been the last few years is that I'm a nurse. In an emergency department. During COVID.
you are spot on - 2008 was magical and amazing! I was so proud of us! and wow, the racists seemed to be EVERYWHERE after that. People I knew were suddenly okay with denigrating a kind, decent, considerate, thoughtful black man - I was stunned. I was stunned even more at the vitriol leveled at the First Lady - how dare she grow vegetables and want school children to eat healthy! I am worn out as well. I survive by turning off the TV and I got off Twitter.
I worry about the collective stupidity of certain nations' politics, the chain reaction effect it has on other nations and those rational folks who are taken hostage by it. That's how it felt for so long, watching all the ridiculous behaviour devolve into violence, the sane and analytical thinkers amongst us felt like hostages to the very loud and excessively irrational few.
I'm in Oz and not as affected as those in the US by the Trumpism fallout but we're about to head to a federal election and the fear here is that our current PM will win a second term, and my country deserves better than that. Much, much better.
And no, Grammarly, I will not add Trumpism to my dictionary. It should remain an unknown word. Stop asking.
Several paying subscribers asked if I could make this public so they could share it with others, and I have done so. Share away.
And thank you for that. I can't afford to subscribe right now, but will when I can. Yes, we are all feeling this, but man, it's validating to read it written down by someone whose not me.
Thank you for this, belatedly.
Just like every other human being who had to live through all those other tumultuous times throughout all of history. Except that the difference this time is that we know about all of the horrors all over the world with constant updates every minute of the day. And also multiple very real planet-wide existential threats unfolding simultaneously. There has actually never been a moment quite like this in all of human history. Be nice if life could be boring again for a change.
That really is the difference. We're bombarded every minute of every day. Unplugging for at least one day each week really helps me a lot.
Thank you for this. I'm one of the very few who have benefitted over the past 4-5 years, while empathizing and sympathizing with those who were suffering. My world came crashing down in 2009, then again in 2012, but Obama's Administration had passed laws that helped me through. When tfg was elected and the pandemic hit, I'd found ways to rebound and cope. I was on a personal mission to keep myself sane, on a positive personal path, and make a positive difference in people's lives in whatever small way I could. I was overjoyed when tfg didn't start WWIII while my son was deployed in S. Korea. I was grateful for him to be in one of the safest countries through the worst of the pre-vax pandemic.
I say all this to tell you that it will end. I learned yesterday that one of my son's childhood friends who seemed to lean quite far right is engaged to a white cis-male Democrat... in Oklahoma!! Just when you think the next generation is trundling down the wrong path, this happens. And my far right stepson is marrying a Democrat -- one who works in policy on the Hill. She's brilliant and engages him in meaningful dialogue to the point that he voted against tfg the second time.
So don't give up hope. There is an undercurrent of centrist thought in this country that earns no one cash for clicks and we vote. And we'll keep on voting. And we'll win. We also turn off lights in rooms we're not using, conserve resources, recycle as much as possible, and spread kindness wherever we go.
And on a personal note: I fucking love everything you write. Thank you for sharing!!
Thank you for this. You have given me hope.
I'm glad you wrote this piece. I'm also tired. And I don't have hope. I've read enough history to believe that any part of what WAS good in this country will likely soon come crashing down. A country I was raised to love, that my father "fought for", I love no more. Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is. But I'm not even indifferent. I'm heartbroken. We've had so much opportunity to be better than we have ever actually been, and we've thrown it away. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry to all those inside and outside of my country that we've damaged. I'm just sorry.
I so agree with you. I've half joked with others about 'finding another country' and get a bunch of flack because I'm not 'loyal' or willing to fight. I'm like bitch, I was in the Navy, what have YOU done for your country? I've voted, paid taxes, went to rallies, written my senator a time or two... nothing amazing, but I've participated in being a citizen and was proud to be American. I'm no longer proud - I'm embarrassed - and feel the need to explain my lack of alliance with all the crazy to those that might lump me in with the ignorant. I told my mom, if I go to overseas, I'm telling people I'm from Canada...
I feel ya! I don't hate my country, but I can't do the 'loyalty' thing anymore. I support my community, and do what I can.
"I support my community" ... that's all I have left. If I didn't want to improve my community, I would have nothing to push me every day. The country is in doubt, but at least I have my community to fight for!
Where would you go? Fascism is winning everywhere. Europe is in no better shape than North America. I've done some research about places I could move to (from the US) and really, there aren't many good options. The best option is probably north to Canada, but y'all won't take me, and my wife hates snow :)
I've heard that Merida, Mexico is pretty good for Americans.
That all would depress me if I wasn’t already living in it. All we can do is let each other know we hear and relate. Empathy isn’t a strong enough word.
Of course, I also can blame at least part of being tired on being 72.
Feel you, man. I finally broke two days ago, seeing the horrors in Bucha. And yesterday, Zelenskyy’s face as he saw it – to be a Jew standing over a mass grave…a grief that can’t find words.
Thank everything sacred for this post. I'm so burned out I'm thinking of asking for a sabbatical from a job I love, because the world is shit and the country I live in is like 70% of that shit and nothing feels worth it anymore. I'm pursuing the hell out of the things that still give me some feeling of agency -- my reaction is to get to the gym *more,* but everyone's mileage on that varies -- and like you, I've got a great job, health, loving family, but my country is crap and the past several years prove that, to a large extent, it always has been. Like Russians today, I fully expect to be on one of the last trains, busses, roads, or planes out of this country in the next several years, and will understand if no other country on Earth will have me or any of us.
To top it off, I worked like hell for decades to get the correct diagnosis and treatment for my PTSD, and for what? -- this!?!?
So yes, I see you. And to the extent of knowing you're not alone and you have the virtual support of strangers may help, believe me you have mine. Your Sweary History is one of the first things I read every day online, just for that sweet endorphin jolt. Thank you for creating one of the bright spots in the world.
I've been exhausted from all this social and politic bullshit since early 2020 - between the advent of Trumps ever-present bullshit on the media, Covid and the continued de-evolution of Conservatives, I turned off all news back in 4/2020. I'm now probably the least informed I've ever been in my life, but when I peek inside once in awhile to see what's what, I just want to bury my head in the sand again. I struggle with this because you cant be part of the change by burying your head, but I also cant sustain against the onslaught of so many assholes. There are just so many that get viable air time, it's depressing! Soo, I just live in my bubble. I used to love to debate - friendly political debates among friends, but I wouldnt touch that with a 50' pole anymore. I will defriend you if you're a Trump supporter and instantly lose respect and judge people who are. I cant help it. I tried to 'live with the differences' early on, but it's too fundamental. For me, it's like saying, "I'm sure Manson had some redeeming qualities...". Anyways, I get it. It's painful to be a rational, moderate democratic human these days.
Just what I was thinking and saying today - first it was climate change and Greta and all the fuckwits that opposed what she was trying to say, then the tea parties across the western world leading to trump and brexit, then loss of biodiversity, then covid, then the feeling of loss when I look at my (adult married) daughter and I think, her future is kind of robbed, her generation and the younger, their futures feel robbed. And then Ukraine. On top of Chechenya, Syria, Afghanistan, Middle East.... Russia is my next door neighbour so Ukraine hits home hard; Russia may have its monster eye on us too (Finland). And our neighbours the Baltic countries. I grew up distrusting Russia, then about 10yrs ago felt that hmm, maybe they are ok? then Crimea in 2014 and it was all shattered again. Now Russia is War Criminal #1 until way past my lifetime.... Yeah. Tired just about covers it. I'm fineish in my personal life but feel collectively burnt out. Where is joy?... I hear you, all of you <3 Thanks for this piece.
I SO identify with this. I hope you'll make this publicly accessible some time -- I'd share it to friends and family with a "So much this:" comment.
Fellow Canadian here but we had gone to live in the Caribbean since I am lacking any Canadian DNA to enjoy Winter. To say 2016 was a shitshow is an understatement as it started with me coming back to Canada in January. Bad enough on its own but I was back for surgery for cancer. Easy peasy, surgery and then some radiation and you will be back to the warmth by April. Well, that went pear-shaped quickly. Let's throw in chemo, Mom dying, another surgery and then radiation. I finally made it back home in September. All along there had been rumblings about Trump. I kept thinking, there is no fucking way he will win. We all started to get nervous as the election loomed closer. The night of the election as the bo-peep frogs were chirping I put my phone down thinking Hillary has to win. I woke-up at 0600 and looked my phone and when I saw he had won my heart started pounding like a cartoon heart. I put my phone back down and I had an overwhelming feeling of dread thinking -- this will not end well. I have felt this way ever since. If he had even half acknowledged COVID he would have won a second term. 2017 wasn't much better as Irma slammed into our island. We finally look at leaving our Caribbean home for good and return to Canada --- February 2020! So many of us must have variations of your story. I am tired. One upside was discovering your writing. Thank you.
Sending you a big virtual hug. You deserve a break.
I am also very fucking tired. Just hard to find true joy in the little things that used to make me happy. Blergh
Thank You so much for sharing what so many of us are feeling. It cab be hard all day out in the world, and having a place, where someone will say Ugh, me too, soooooo tired. The horrors in Ukraine and the brutality of humans is just depressing and exhausting, and I am not giving up either, but I just don't know have much hope and I don't know where to put what little energy I have left after working in healthcare and trying to keep my family safe.
This is _exactly_ how I feel. My personal cherry on top of the shit sandwich that has been the last few years is that I'm a nurse. In an emergency department. During COVID.
you are spot on - 2008 was magical and amazing! I was so proud of us! and wow, the racists seemed to be EVERYWHERE after that. People I knew were suddenly okay with denigrating a kind, decent, considerate, thoughtful black man - I was stunned. I was stunned even more at the vitriol leveled at the First Lady - how dare she grow vegetables and want school children to eat healthy! I am worn out as well. I survive by turning off the TV and I got off Twitter.
I worry about the collective stupidity of certain nations' politics, the chain reaction effect it has on other nations and those rational folks who are taken hostage by it. That's how it felt for so long, watching all the ridiculous behaviour devolve into violence, the sane and analytical thinkers amongst us felt like hostages to the very loud and excessively irrational few.
I'm in Oz and not as affected as those in the US by the Trumpism fallout but we're about to head to a federal election and the fear here is that our current PM will win a second term, and my country deserves better than that. Much, much better.
And no, Grammarly, I will not add Trumpism to my dictionary. It should remain an unknown word. Stop asking.
Be well, all, and take care.