Thank you so much for this today. You just gave me, a stranger, something I needed without you realizing it. My mother passed away on Monday and quite a lot of what you've shared in this piece resonates. She wasn't a positive person. I try my hardest to be one and this reinforces my resolve to be the positive light that I didn't have. Thank you.
I’m sorry for the loss of your mother. My mom is still with us. She had a terrible mother herself, and was the opposite for my sister and I. She showers us with love.
I am a social justice activist. I tend to perceive the world as a whole, and my mind organically wants to focus on "big picture" systemic problems and solutions. My wife is a very practical person, and her mind organically wants to focus on the immediate goings-on around her. She is the most unpretentious person I know. She likes to do things like leave "thank you's" on post-it notes for the janitors at her office, who empty her garbage can every night, but whom she has never met. At holidays, she'll often also leave a foil-wrapped chocolate for them. At one job, the recipient of her notes left a reply. It was a "thank you" and a smiley face, and a heart, scrawled on the bottom of the note she had left. It took me a lot of years of doing the work I do to understand the importance and impact of my wife's "small picture" gestures. It is a basic human need to be seen and valued, yet our culture relegates many to roles where they can be routinely ignored and devalued. The quiet way in which my wife reaches out to people who almost never are thanked -- or acknowledged at all -- for the work the do is a heroic deed. We tend to value big, eventful, news-worthy acts as more worthy than small, day-to-day instances of witnessing and connection, but I have come to believe that both my wife's focus and mine are impactful in different ways, and there is no "heroic" act that is too small to matter. The jury is still out on whether or not I have made the world a better place; there's no doubt that my wife has.
One of the best bits of philosophy I know came from a work of fiction---the tv show Angel: "We live as though the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be."
I often wonder why people don’t send handwritten cards and letters anymore. I’ve noticed that I never received thank you cards from two graduations and one wedding I attended in June. I raised my daughter to always send a thank you note, not a text.
I’m a retired RN. I have saved three handwritten cards I received from families whose loved ones I cared for. They are probably 15-20 years old, but the fact that they took the time and put pen to paper speaks volumes.
James, you've definitely made my life better. Reading your experience of being diagnosed with ADHD led me to getting myself checked out, and finally treated for my own ADHD, at 60. Your work also continuously challenges me to make whatever small differences are possible through my own. Thank you.
I knew you were talking about The Belgariad before you confirmed it. It's one of my favorites, and I reread it often.
I totally agree that you get back what you put into the world, and I try hard to put positive things out there. I'm far, far from perfect, but I definitely get back more positive than negative so I must be doing something right.
I truly appreciate what you do. Thank you for continuing to do it.
Tremendous article! It’s been said the least religious are sometimes the strongest examples of Jesus. I know you have great disdain for organized religion, and even God. But this article summarizes the commandment to love your neighbor like yourself in a perfectly secular way. Thank you.
You often write in a way that cuts to the important core of things, peels away the dross, and makes the bullshit clear to see. But this? This is a significant contribution to the handbook of How To Human.
Thank you for picking a pretty good way to be a Hero yourself. I appreciate the fucks you give, and today's was a beaut!
This is such an excellent piece. I could see it being a book in itself. Definitely something I will save and reread. It hits home to me for many reasons, but most personally as I also lost my mother at eight. Those experiences do profoundly shape one’s circumstances.
Thank you so much for this today. You just gave me, a stranger, something I needed without you realizing it. My mother passed away on Monday and quite a lot of what you've shared in this piece resonates. She wasn't a positive person. I try my hardest to be one and this reinforces my resolve to be the positive light that I didn't have. Thank you.
I’m sorry for the loss of your mother. My mom is still with us. She had a terrible mother herself, and was the opposite for my sister and I. She showers us with love.
I try to do the same with my own son--give him what I didn't have. :-)
I'm very sorry for your loss.
I am a social justice activist. I tend to perceive the world as a whole, and my mind organically wants to focus on "big picture" systemic problems and solutions. My wife is a very practical person, and her mind organically wants to focus on the immediate goings-on around her. She is the most unpretentious person I know. She likes to do things like leave "thank you's" on post-it notes for the janitors at her office, who empty her garbage can every night, but whom she has never met. At holidays, she'll often also leave a foil-wrapped chocolate for them. At one job, the recipient of her notes left a reply. It was a "thank you" and a smiley face, and a heart, scrawled on the bottom of the note she had left. It took me a lot of years of doing the work I do to understand the importance and impact of my wife's "small picture" gestures. It is a basic human need to be seen and valued, yet our culture relegates many to roles where they can be routinely ignored and devalued. The quiet way in which my wife reaches out to people who almost never are thanked -- or acknowledged at all -- for the work the do is a heroic deed. We tend to value big, eventful, news-worthy acts as more worthy than small, day-to-day instances of witnessing and connection, but I have come to believe that both my wife's focus and mine are impactful in different ways, and there is no "heroic" act that is too small to matter. The jury is still out on whether or not I have made the world a better place; there's no doubt that my wife has.
One of the best bits of philosophy I know came from a work of fiction---the tv show Angel: "We live as though the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be."
I often wonder why people don’t send handwritten cards and letters anymore. I’ve noticed that I never received thank you cards from two graduations and one wedding I attended in June. I raised my daughter to always send a thank you note, not a text.
I’m a retired RN. I have saved three handwritten cards I received from families whose loved ones I cared for. They are probably 15-20 years old, but the fact that they took the time and put pen to paper speaks volumes.
James, you've definitely made my life better. Reading your experience of being diagnosed with ADHD led me to getting myself checked out, and finally treated for my own ADHD, at 60. Your work also continuously challenges me to make whatever small differences are possible through my own. Thank you.
This was long, but I loved it. You even made me tear up a little, James. Who knew?
I knew you were talking about The Belgariad before you confirmed it. It's one of my favorites, and I reread it often.
I totally agree that you get back what you put into the world, and I try hard to put positive things out there. I'm far, far from perfect, but I definitely get back more positive than negative so I must be doing something right.
I truly appreciate what you do. Thank you for continuing to do it.
Never underestimate a good sandwich. And one given freely ranks it up a notch.
This is the very best thing that I’ve read that you have ever written. Truly excellent!!!
Truth.
Thank you, James.
Tremendous article! It’s been said the least religious are sometimes the strongest examples of Jesus. I know you have great disdain for organized religion, and even God. But this article summarizes the commandment to love your neighbor like yourself in a perfectly secular way. Thank you.
Holy shit. This just WRECKED me.
You often write in a way that cuts to the important core of things, peels away the dross, and makes the bullshit clear to see. But this? This is a significant contribution to the handbook of How To Human.
Thank you for picking a pretty good way to be a Hero yourself. I appreciate the fucks you give, and today's was a beaut!
I think I needed this today. Thank you, James. I am quite certain you have made a positive impact on many peoples lives. Mine included.
Holly cowboy, you made the day memorable. Thanks for stringing words and valuable info together for so many of us. Carry on, sandwhich hero!
This is such an excellent piece. I could see it being a book in itself. Definitely something I will save and reread. It hits home to me for many reasons, but most personally as I also lost my mother at eight. Those experiences do profoundly shape one’s circumstances.
Thank you.