Hang on. Someone paid to have access here just to act like a douchebag and get blocked and wasting their money? Imagine being such a big douchebag that you pay to prove your douchebaggery? Oh my.
I have been called a terf before. I do not feel that I am. I would love to be able to discuss without immediately being called a terf and being blocked but this is the way people have open discussions/dialogue I guess.
If you’ve been called a terf you likely are. You aren’t owed discussions or dialogue over lived experiences you never suffer through. Start following and quietly learning from trans people. Don’t ask questions. Follow, listen, learn and do better. If you don’t want to be called a terf stop being a terf.
Attitude like this will only push people further away. Once you close down discussions or dialogue you will put the people in defensive as that is the only thing they have left and they are never going to accept what you suggested especially those people.
We've known for over 2000 years from ancient Greece that the best way to learn is trough discussions and dialogue, they are not owned but needed.
Your attitude is as garbage as of those idiot conservatives.
No. It’s understanding that it’s not the job of the “different” person to explain to you the information that is widely available to educate yourself.
When you’ve done so, and have a specific aspect that still confuses you, then discussions can begin. It means you’ve cared enough to do your homework, but can use some advice from another’s lived experience.😏
Then you can say, “I read author a and author b on this and they seem to have different takes on issue z. I’m not sure which approach will be the most beneficial as an ally. Do you have any suggestions?”
2000 years and still dEbAtiNg basic humanity of historically targeted and marginalized people would prove - white people to matter where they’re from - are wrong.
Sure Trish. One day when you prove me wrong that your current attitude and reasoning change the world or the way people think, please share the evidence. I would be delighted to be proven wrong.
I've been called a wide variety of things by idiots who didn't know what they were talking about. Is everything they said true just because they said it? Unless you know Jazz personally, you are in no position to judge them based on this one post.
How you feel about marginalized people’s experience of you is irrelevant. It sounds like you’ve been called a terf enough times to really dig your heels in. That’s a pretty good indication that the characterization is correct.
I am a cis white female, and look the part. I started using pronouns both because of what you said and also it helps me. My name is Kevyn, and when people see my name without my face, they assume I'm male. I'm very tired of all the "I was so surprised!" comments, so using pronouns usually eliminates that.
Same issue here. Every year in school I had to reestablish that I was a girl. Turns out now, at 40, that IDGAF about gender and enjoy messing with people's expectations.
I have a female high school classmate with the same name! My name is Christine. When I was in school, I went from Christine to Chris. When I moved into career, I would get the same response about being surprised I am female, so a few years ago, I became Christine again. I am a grownup now, anyway, and it seemed a bit more of a grownup name.
You comment is actually transphobic. You use pronouns to make sure you’re not misgendered simply by name. So that you’re not thought of as a man. Can you not see how you’re asserting cisness and not being an ally.
Something can serve two purposes, and they stated *both* reasons, one of which was for the reasons James stated (allyship), and the other to avoid confusion.
There is nothing transphobic about wanting to avoid being misgendered, whether the person who doesn't want to be misgendered is cis, trans, non-binary, gender-fluid, or whatever else.
I'm obviously a cis female in appearance, 60 years of age is starting to be around an increasingly short corner**, and I just can't understand why providing my gender pronouns is such a big deal. Good for you using your position at the top of the privilege totem pole this way.
**Just in case anyone tries to whine about how hard it is to keep with these things "at my age." Well, at my age I'm old enough to remember when conservatives at least pretended to believe in respect for others.
As I've gotten older, and now that I'm pursuing a career in the history of medicine, I find myself landing very firmly (perhaps even in the superhero pose) in the gender is a social construct field. I used to hate the term cis-gendered, but largely because it seemed silly to have a word that covered a majority of people, not out of any sort of hate for trans individuals.
Now, at the age of 36, I sit here feeling more as though I fit more into a fluid state of gender. I largely present and identify with being a woman, but I also really embrace my more masculine traits and finding my own personal style. I also have found myself identifying more as pansexual than just bisexual (as I have identified in the past) because I absolutely find myself more interested in who someone is at their core than their genitals specifically.
I added my pronouns (which, for the sake of simplicity, are just she/her since I largely identify as cis in most situations) because I wanted my trans friends or my queer friends to know that I support them, I will stand up for them, and I am here for them.
I have used pronouns in my twitter profile, almost since I joined. Twitter has its problems, but it's such a large platform that I've also learned a lot from people I never would have met in real life, even before Covid, including those who taught me why pronouns are important. Learning to listen, and to listen critically, is a skill I try to work on a lot.
Most of my company (~200 in Canada) now uses pronouns in their email signatures. The reason that did it for me was that when it becomes normal for everyone, it won’t seem out of place or “outing” to trans or non-binary people. It’s literally no skin off my teeth to add my pronouns if it makes someone else more comfortable.
Thanks, James. I've been an educator on trans issues for a couple of decades. About the only thing I take issue with is you saying you are obviously a cisgender male. It's actually not obvious. Can you tell I'm a trans male or a cisgender one? There is no specific "look" trans people have. While I hate the term, trans masculine folks usually have "passing privilege" - something that SOME trans women don't have. But there are lots of trans women out there that do measure up to our fucked up ideas of femininity and there are lots of cisgender women who look pretty masculine. Everything else was spot on.
I had pronouns in my work email signature to show support. I added them to my FB profile. I love the idea that shitbags will self-identify by complaining about it.
Maybe before you just lump a few hundred thousand humans together and label them all "garbage" you could go get coffee with someone who disagrees and learn to talk about disagreements… You say it is bad to appeal to predjudices but this entire post does does just that.
Oh, nice. The "both sides have a valid argument" approach. Sorry pal, not gonna engage in discourse with bigotry, especially when it's against one of the most at-risk and marginalized populations there is. These people are basically a hate group. Fuck 'em.
Also, promoting compassion and inclusivity isn't appealing to prejudices. Nice try though.
No, actually I don't think both sides have a valid argument. I think only one side is right and the other side is wrong—and using arguments build on logical fallacies and false premises. The difference is I still care about the people on both sides and would be willing to sit down and talk about why I think the way I do with somebody I disagreed with.
In spite of your labeling the side that disagrees with you being the "hate group", all your aggressive name calling and ever your next two words after "hate group" show which side is doing the hating.
Sure, Mr. Bothsidans. Being open-minded and "WeLl LeT's CoNsIdEr WhAt ThEy'Re SaYiNg" toward a group of people who - on the regular - express blatant hatred for other human beings, saying they should be imprisoned, killed, etc., etc. Clearly you're a great human being.
You want us to believe you're somehow "better"... because you're more compassionate toward people who are entirely *without compassion*. What a crock of shit.
I was a Census enumerator for the 2020 U.S. Census last summer. One of the less comfortable questions we had to ask respondents was whether they were male or female and the same question for everyone in their family. They could have a 3' beard and we still had to ask. They could refuse to answer. It would have been easier if we just asked their pronouns! In fact, they could refuse to answer everything except for if this was the correct address and how many people live there--that is the only answer required by law. I would always start with "We have to ask everyone this . . . " and then proceed. We also had to ask about race and ethnicity, and those were also tough for some people to answer. We were required to record whatever the person said ("What race to you consider yourself?"). It was interesting side hustle for a few months--you really learn a lot about your community.
I already thought you were an awesome author and person, now I think you are even more amazing! Thank you for being a glimmer of intelligent hope in this world! I appreciate you!!
My name (as spelled) is, in Latin cultures, decidedly male, so I often get responses that are slanted as cis male to cis male. It can really be quite telling when I correct them. The backpedaling they often do is quite a gymnastic feat. 😂
I always love the ignorant tools that can't handle they/them/their pronouns, complaining that those are only used for groups of people. I respond, remember when you saw a parked car with the headlights still on and your friend said, "Oh look, they left their headlights on. I hope they don't end up with their battery dead. I wish I could find them and let them know they left their lights on." And then you replied, "What in the ever living fuck are you talking about? Just how many damn people do you think were driving that fucking car? I'm so confused right now! Can't you just say "he/she left his/her headlights on. I hope he/she doesn't end up with his/her battery dead. I wish I could find him/her and let him/her know he/she left his/her lights on." It would be so much less confusing." ...
There was a terf who invaded. I blocked them. Bye, terf.
Hang on. Someone paid to have access here just to act like a douchebag and get blocked and wasting their money? Imagine being such a big douchebag that you pay to prove your douchebaggery? Oh my.
TERFs gotta TERF.
I have been called a terf before. I do not feel that I am. I would love to be able to discuss without immediately being called a terf and being blocked but this is the way people have open discussions/dialogue I guess.
If you’ve been called a terf you likely are. You aren’t owed discussions or dialogue over lived experiences you never suffer through. Start following and quietly learning from trans people. Don’t ask questions. Follow, listen, learn and do better. If you don’t want to be called a terf stop being a terf.
Attitude like this will only push people further away. Once you close down discussions or dialogue you will put the people in defensive as that is the only thing they have left and they are never going to accept what you suggested especially those people.
We've known for over 2000 years from ancient Greece that the best way to learn is trough discussions and dialogue, they are not owned but needed.
Your attitude is as garbage as of those idiot conservatives.
No. It’s understanding that it’s not the job of the “different” person to explain to you the information that is widely available to educate yourself.
When you’ve done so, and have a specific aspect that still confuses you, then discussions can begin. It means you’ve cared enough to do your homework, but can use some advice from another’s lived experience.😏
Then you can say, “I read author a and author b on this and they seem to have different takes on issue z. I’m not sure which approach will be the most beneficial as an ally. Do you have any suggestions?”
"No" says, then goes on an out of topic rant.
2000 years and still dEbAtiNg basic humanity of historically targeted and marginalized people would prove - white people to matter where they’re from - are wrong.
Sure Trish. One day when you prove me wrong that your current attitude and reasoning change the world or the way people think, please share the evidence. I would be delighted to be proven wrong.
I've been called a wide variety of things by idiots who didn't know what they were talking about. Is everything they said true just because they said it? Unless you know Jazz personally, you are in no position to judge them based on this one post.
How you feel about marginalized people’s experience of you is irrelevant. It sounds like you’ve been called a terf enough times to really dig your heels in. That’s a pretty good indication that the characterization is correct.
Thank you verysomuch!
I am a cis white female, and look the part. I started using pronouns both because of what you said and also it helps me. My name is Kevyn, and when people see my name without my face, they assume I'm male. I'm very tired of all the "I was so surprised!" comments, so using pronouns usually eliminates that.
I love your name.
Same issue here. Every year in school I had to reestablish that I was a girl. Turns out now, at 40, that IDGAF about gender and enjoy messing with people's expectations.
I had the same name name before my transition. It used to piss me off to be mistaken for a guy until I discovered that in all honesty, I'm a guy.
My male cousin's name is Lynn and he has a bit of the opposite problem.
I have a female high school classmate with the same name! My name is Christine. When I was in school, I went from Christine to Chris. When I moved into career, I would get the same response about being surprised I am female, so a few years ago, I became Christine again. I am a grownup now, anyway, and it seemed a bit more of a grownup name.
Your name is awesome.
You comment is actually transphobic. You use pronouns to make sure you’re not misgendered simply by name. So that you’re not thought of as a man. Can you not see how you’re asserting cisness and not being an ally.
Something can serve two purposes, and they stated *both* reasons, one of which was for the reasons James stated (allyship), and the other to avoid confusion.
You might be reading way too much in their reply.
There is nothing transphobic about wanting to avoid being misgendered, whether the person who doesn't want to be misgendered is cis, trans, non-binary, gender-fluid, or whatever else.
I'm obviously a cis female in appearance, 60 years of age is starting to be around an increasingly short corner**, and I just can't understand why providing my gender pronouns is such a big deal. Good for you using your position at the top of the privilege totem pole this way.
**Just in case anyone tries to whine about how hard it is to keep with these things "at my age." Well, at my age I'm old enough to remember when conservatives at least pretended to believe in respect for others.
Sixty is in my rearview mirror, and I agree with you wholeheartedly.
Sixty is so far behind me I need binoculars to see it. And, I totally agree with you!
As I've gotten older, and now that I'm pursuing a career in the history of medicine, I find myself landing very firmly (perhaps even in the superhero pose) in the gender is a social construct field. I used to hate the term cis-gendered, but largely because it seemed silly to have a word that covered a majority of people, not out of any sort of hate for trans individuals.
Now, at the age of 36, I sit here feeling more as though I fit more into a fluid state of gender. I largely present and identify with being a woman, but I also really embrace my more masculine traits and finding my own personal style. I also have found myself identifying more as pansexual than just bisexual (as I have identified in the past) because I absolutely find myself more interested in who someone is at their core than their genitals specifically.
I added my pronouns (which, for the sake of simplicity, are just she/her since I largely identify as cis in most situations) because I wanted my trans friends or my queer friends to know that I support them, I will stand up for them, and I am here for them.
This post was absolutely worth my money to subscribe. (Mom of a trans son)
I have used pronouns in my twitter profile, almost since I joined. Twitter has its problems, but it's such a large platform that I've also learned a lot from people I never would have met in real life, even before Covid, including those who taught me why pronouns are important. Learning to listen, and to listen critically, is a skill I try to work on a lot.
Just added pronouns to my bio. Thanks for being a voice of reason in this cold, dark time.
Most of my company (~200 in Canada) now uses pronouns in their email signatures. The reason that did it for me was that when it becomes normal for everyone, it won’t seem out of place or “outing” to trans or non-binary people. It’s literally no skin off my teeth to add my pronouns if it makes someone else more comfortable.
Thanks, James. I've been an educator on trans issues for a couple of decades. About the only thing I take issue with is you saying you are obviously a cisgender male. It's actually not obvious. Can you tell I'm a trans male or a cisgender one? There is no specific "look" trans people have. While I hate the term, trans masculine folks usually have "passing privilege" - something that SOME trans women don't have. But there are lots of trans women out there that do measure up to our fucked up ideas of femininity and there are lots of cisgender women who look pretty masculine. Everything else was spot on.
I had pronouns in my work email signature to show support. I added them to my FB profile. I love the idea that shitbags will self-identify by complaining about it.
First thing I'll be doing on Monday.
Maybe before you just lump a few hundred thousand humans together and label them all "garbage" you could go get coffee with someone who disagrees and learn to talk about disagreements… You say it is bad to appeal to predjudices but this entire post does does just that.
Oh, nice. The "both sides have a valid argument" approach. Sorry pal, not gonna engage in discourse with bigotry, especially when it's against one of the most at-risk and marginalized populations there is. These people are basically a hate group. Fuck 'em.
Also, promoting compassion and inclusivity isn't appealing to prejudices. Nice try though.
My trans son is one you are fighting for and this mom is eternally grateful.
No, actually I don't think both sides have a valid argument. I think only one side is right and the other side is wrong—and using arguments build on logical fallacies and false premises. The difference is I still care about the people on both sides and would be willing to sit down and talk about why I think the way I do with somebody I disagreed with.
In spite of your labeling the side that disagrees with you being the "hate group", all your aggressive name calling and ever your next two words after "hate group" show which side is doing the hating.
Sure, Mr. Bothsidans. Being open-minded and "WeLl LeT's CoNsIdEr WhAt ThEy'Re SaYiNg" toward a group of people who - on the regular - express blatant hatred for other human beings, saying they should be imprisoned, killed, etc., etc. Clearly you're a great human being.
You want us to believe you're somehow "better"... because you're more compassionate toward people who are entirely *without compassion*. What a crock of shit.
How dare you disagree with the humanity of others.
Can you pls show us on the dolly where this post hurted the transphobe.
I was a Census enumerator for the 2020 U.S. Census last summer. One of the less comfortable questions we had to ask respondents was whether they were male or female and the same question for everyone in their family. They could have a 3' beard and we still had to ask. They could refuse to answer. It would have been easier if we just asked their pronouns! In fact, they could refuse to answer everything except for if this was the correct address and how many people live there--that is the only answer required by law. I would always start with "We have to ask everyone this . . . " and then proceed. We also had to ask about race and ethnicity, and those were also tough for some people to answer. We were required to record whatever the person said ("What race to you consider yourself?"). It was interesting side hustle for a few months--you really learn a lot about your community.
I already thought you were an awesome author and person, now I think you are even more amazing! Thank you for being a glimmer of intelligent hope in this world! I appreciate you!!
My name (as spelled) is, in Latin cultures, decidedly male, so I often get responses that are slanted as cis male to cis male. It can really be quite telling when I correct them. The backpedaling they often do is quite a gymnastic feat. 😂
As someone who transitioned 30+ years ago in rural Georgia, I thank you for this. 💜
I always love the ignorant tools that can't handle they/them/their pronouns, complaining that those are only used for groups of people. I respond, remember when you saw a parked car with the headlights still on and your friend said, "Oh look, they left their headlights on. I hope they don't end up with their battery dead. I wish I could find them and let them know they left their lights on." And then you replied, "What in the ever living fuck are you talking about? Just how many damn people do you think were driving that fucking car? I'm so confused right now! Can't you just say "he/she left his/her headlights on. I hope he/she doesn't end up with his/her battery dead. I wish I could find him/her and let him/her know he/she left his/her lights on." It would be so much less confusing." ...