There's a great article in the latest Scientific American about women in hunter-gather societies. The old "man=hunter, woman=gatherer" is sheer, unadulterated bullshit. There is a motherfucking ass-ton of evidence that shows that women were equal to men in pre-agricultural societies. Women hunted as much as men did, even while pregnant or caring for children, and men participated in gathering and other "women's work". Of course the anthropologist men writing about this just swept all that evidence under the carpet to maintain their macho caveman idealized male stereotype. Fucking douchebags.
As an HSSE Professional in a company that is involved in multiple industries and who is also an SME in Incident Management/Investigation, I can tell you that the data tells us that >70% of workplace incidents that men are injured in has the injured party actively involved as one of the causal factors, whereas >90% of the workplace incidents injuring women has the injured party inactive in any of the causal factors of the incident.
i.e., An overwhelming majority of workplace accidents involving women happen TO the women, not because of them. The reverse is true of the men.
I'm a technician and so I go to a lot of different customer premises (offices, industrial, educational etc) and so I do a lot of H&S inductions. They can always be summed up as, "Don't be an idiot!" Perhaps more testosterone tends to promote the "He who hesitates is lost" mindset and more oestrogen tends to promote the "Look before you leap" mindset. It's an an interesting hypothesis for discussion.
Thanks for summing this up so sweary and concisely! I now have the exact words I need to show the (too many) douchebags who rage about the war on men. They get even more douchebaggy and call it the war on white men as well. So it’s women and men of any color other than white. They’re crying from their Goldman Sachs corner office or judge’s bench or wearing any uniform - police, fire, pilot, etc. surrounded by other “oppressed” men. Ugh.
As the wife mom sister daughter and aunt of guys raised to man up (though thank god one had the sense to think wtf? about it), many - I mean lots - of black eyes, trips to the ER multiple sizes of crutches in the closet.
Also many thanks, I nearly had to step outside and take deep breaths after ‘Rapey Caillou’ (I was interfering with the sports channel..) whew..
So many moments of genius in this: "women asking the men who engage in brutish behavior to please stop is the opposite of a war on men. It’s about trying to help men", "he’s upset that the world is making it harder to get away with being a doucheknuckle", and those were just the tip of the iceberg. Gives me hope, that our species is talking about this, showing everyone there is another way, in fact, a variety of ways to live. "Man up" has been so reductive and limiting.
Gay men have been judged to be feminine, weak, and every other trait eschewed by heterosexual men. From an inside view, I can tell you that some Gay men go overboard to act, look, and sound super masculine. You can see that at some of the bars. Some dress up in Leather drag, others want to come across as Cowboys. The majority of the cowboy types have never been in the same room with a cow. The Leather and Cowboy crowd, it turns out, are people who work in office buildings, some are Dentist, or Doctors. Very few of them are actual construction workers, or work in a factory.
What does that say about them? They don't want to be seen as some stereotypical Gay. They go above and beyond presenting themselves, mostly to eachother, as the epitome of machismo. Of course it's all an act, but the act comes from a script handed to them by parents, teachers, coaches...et al. They know that they have to try harder to be succesful. It's the same as with Blacks, and Women. They have to out do everyone in their performance on the job.
When I was in the U.S. Army, I did everything to keep anyone from being suspicious of me. I never went AWOL, and never had any disciplinary problem. That didn't stop the Army from discharging me after a civilian ratted me out. I was lucky, I got a General Discharge. In the Army I didn't have to act extra masculine. I didn't need to. Every one in my unit was quite surprised about me. I don't even show up on anyones Gaydar.
This makes me so sad. 😢 Why do we all get sucked into roles defined by toxic people? Back in the 70s I had to go along with two male friends who lived together in a loving relationship just to keep them from being harassed. I had hoped times had changed from then, but unfortunately not.
2. We, women have bought into the narrative as well by trying to conform to manmade norms of beauty and behavior whose bottom line is to trap a man into taking care of us in a world that refuses to recognize our worth and negatively reinforces us if we behave as independent thinking human beings. It is a vicious circle where women are rewarded for being subservient and men are rewarded for exercising domination.
And look where it has taken us! Now governments dominated by men and women who have bought into some religious explanation for their subservience have legislated us into the status of breeder cows without any rights over our own bodies!
Let’s hope we are moving in a direction where men CAN share their fragility w/o being mocked or denigrated. My sister and I believe my beloved brother died b/c his family was completely f$caked up and there was little to nothing he could do about it. He kept it all inside, didn’t ask for help either professionally or with us. We would have gladly supported him! We believe he chose death rather than seeking help. My wish for every man out there is that he not suffer from internal doubt or depression in silence. Find people who will lovingly lift you up. Don’t let this toxic environment take you down.
There's a great article in the latest Scientific American about women in hunter-gather societies. The old "man=hunter, woman=gatherer" is sheer, unadulterated bullshit. There is a motherfucking ass-ton of evidence that shows that women were equal to men in pre-agricultural societies. Women hunted as much as men did, even while pregnant or caring for children, and men participated in gathering and other "women's work". Of course the anthropologist men writing about this just swept all that evidence under the carpet to maintain their macho caveman idealized male stereotype. Fucking douchebags.
Regarding Workplace Accidents:
As an HSSE Professional in a company that is involved in multiple industries and who is also an SME in Incident Management/Investigation, I can tell you that the data tells us that >70% of workplace incidents that men are injured in has the injured party actively involved as one of the causal factors, whereas >90% of the workplace incidents injuring women has the injured party inactive in any of the causal factors of the incident.
i.e., An overwhelming majority of workplace accidents involving women happen TO the women, not because of them. The reverse is true of the men.
I'm a technician and so I go to a lot of different customer premises (offices, industrial, educational etc) and so I do a lot of H&S inductions. They can always be summed up as, "Don't be an idiot!" Perhaps more testosterone tends to promote the "He who hesitates is lost" mindset and more oestrogen tends to promote the "Look before you leap" mindset. It's an an interesting hypothesis for discussion.
Thanks for summing this up so sweary and concisely! I now have the exact words I need to show the (too many) douchebags who rage about the war on men. They get even more douchebaggy and call it the war on white men as well. So it’s women and men of any color other than white. They’re crying from their Goldman Sachs corner office or judge’s bench or wearing any uniform - police, fire, pilot, etc. surrounded by other “oppressed” men. Ugh.
Clear eyed assessment of facts, history with flavor.
As the wife mom sister daughter and aunt of guys raised to man up (though thank god one had the sense to think wtf? about it), many - I mean lots - of black eyes, trips to the ER multiple sizes of crutches in the closet.
Also many thanks, I nearly had to step outside and take deep breaths after ‘Rapey Caillou’ (I was interfering with the sports channel..) whew..
So many moments of genius in this: "women asking the men who engage in brutish behavior to please stop is the opposite of a war on men. It’s about trying to help men", "he’s upset that the world is making it harder to get away with being a doucheknuckle", and those were just the tip of the iceberg. Gives me hope, that our species is talking about this, showing everyone there is another way, in fact, a variety of ways to live. "Man up" has been so reductive and limiting.
A very well-written article! I love how many times you voice thoughts and beliefs that I myself have but you do it in such a great cohesive manner.
A lot of us are fragile.
A lot of us need therapy.
I wish we would all admit to both.
Well said and good to hear a man saying it.
Outstanding! Thanks, James! 🥰
It all just sucks at this point.
Gay men have been judged to be feminine, weak, and every other trait eschewed by heterosexual men. From an inside view, I can tell you that some Gay men go overboard to act, look, and sound super masculine. You can see that at some of the bars. Some dress up in Leather drag, others want to come across as Cowboys. The majority of the cowboy types have never been in the same room with a cow. The Leather and Cowboy crowd, it turns out, are people who work in office buildings, some are Dentist, or Doctors. Very few of them are actual construction workers, or work in a factory.
What does that say about them? They don't want to be seen as some stereotypical Gay. They go above and beyond presenting themselves, mostly to eachother, as the epitome of machismo. Of course it's all an act, but the act comes from a script handed to them by parents, teachers, coaches...et al. They know that they have to try harder to be succesful. It's the same as with Blacks, and Women. They have to out do everyone in their performance on the job.
When I was in the U.S. Army, I did everything to keep anyone from being suspicious of me. I never went AWOL, and never had any disciplinary problem. That didn't stop the Army from discharging me after a civilian ratted me out. I was lucky, I got a General Discharge. In the Army I didn't have to act extra masculine. I didn't need to. Every one in my unit was quite surprised about me. I don't even show up on anyones Gaydar.
This makes me so sad. 😢 Why do we all get sucked into roles defined by toxic people? Back in the 70s I had to go along with two male friends who lived together in a loving relationship just to keep them from being harassed. I had hoped times had changed from then, but unfortunately not.
2. We, women have bought into the narrative as well by trying to conform to manmade norms of beauty and behavior whose bottom line is to trap a man into taking care of us in a world that refuses to recognize our worth and negatively reinforces us if we behave as independent thinking human beings. It is a vicious circle where women are rewarded for being subservient and men are rewarded for exercising domination.
And look where it has taken us! Now governments dominated by men and women who have bought into some religious explanation for their subservience have legislated us into the status of breeder cows without any rights over our own bodies!
Let’s hope we are moving in a direction where men CAN share their fragility w/o being mocked or denigrated. My sister and I believe my beloved brother died b/c his family was completely f$caked up and there was little to nothing he could do about it. He kept it all inside, didn’t ask for help either professionally or with us. We would have gladly supported him! We believe he chose death rather than seeking help. My wish for every man out there is that he not suffer from internal doubt or depression in silence. Find people who will lovingly lift you up. Don’t let this toxic environment take you down.
Did you mean Betty Friedan?
love this. I hope I can borrow some of the sentences when fighting with the wingnuts in the comments threads.