34 Comments
User's avatar
Kevin Robbins's avatar

Someone at another substack this morning mentioned this Voltaire quote. Seems to work here.

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it."

Expand full comment
Franky Edder's avatar

When I get a negative response to my FB posts, I have two way to respond. The first is to just dismiss them with "Really? What do you know that I don't?"

or something along that line.

OR

"Thank you for your input. I appreciate all voices. May the God of our fathers grant you peace and good fortune. May the flatulent always be with you. Go now and dwell in peaceful silence." (STFU)

Expand full comment
Lee Gilliland (He/Him)'s avatar

I was totally shocked to see my name on here and then immediately disappointed that it wasn’t me. 🤣

Also, I’m absolutely going to steal the response to “what is a woman.”

Expand full comment
Keturah's avatar

Am I the only one in here voting for Cerberaffe?

Expand full comment
Jill Smudski's avatar

No, you're not!

Expand full comment
Karen Lane & Chris Walsh's avatar

No, I did too!

Expand full comment
Scott Amundsen's avatar

"What women's thing should men totally start doing?"

How 'bout washing their arses??

Expand full comment
Bernie Burson's avatar

Everyone should have a bidet.

Expand full comment
Scott Amundsen's avatar

Best purchase I've made in twenty years.

Expand full comment
Kay-El's avatar

Just got one. Love it!

Expand full comment
John Boyd's avatar

The fuck-chuckle in Guelph would have been truly outraged had the people in the Post Office been speaking French. The real Canadian MAGAt territory is Alberta, aka: 'Texas without the SIG Sauers.'

Expand full comment
Natasha's avatar

Alberta - the Bloc Redneckois.

Expand full comment
John Boyd's avatar

Love it, will use it!

Expand full comment
Yiftach Levy's avatar

I'm Team Cerberaffe.

But I would absolutely go out drinking with Team Girberus and we would have a grand ol' time because we're all friends.

Expand full comment
Ashley Fizer's avatar

I have to say Girberus. Rolls off the tongue.

Expand full comment
Catherine Beal's avatar

I really just love you!

Expand full comment
Logan Darrow's avatar

Thank you James for bringing me to Substack. PS do you have any snappy comebacks for the trolls on Instagram having shitfits because folks are having a good time dancing to Beyoncé's new song? Asking for a friend.

Expand full comment
Suzy's avatar

They likely haven't really listened to it, most ppl think it's a song about texas. (It's not)

I just tell ppl to Google the lyrics and meaning. That usually shuts them up.

Expand full comment
Logan Darrow's avatar

They are pissed because a Black woman isn't staying in the lane they assigned her to.

Expand full comment
Cathi's avatar

Exactly

Expand full comment
Violet Farraday's avatar

Another vote for girberus here!

Expand full comment
Kimberlee Avery Wilkins's avatar

I thought the pic of the giraffe was a three way or menage et trois ( it might not be spelled correctly ). Some of those comments are hilarious , James ! Love your responses !😅🤣😂

Expand full comment
Flickitty's avatar

I love the Girberus' faces all imply low level dissapointment, they must guard the gates of the interwebs.

Expand full comment
un poco loco's avatar

Love the book -- maybe mostly because my sense of history-humor hasn't developed much past Richard Armour's twisted tales and Monty Python (and a fair amount of gratuitous profanity), but whatever -- in fact, loved it enough to come find this substack, which did not disappoint. (I'm agnostic about the cerberaffe/giberus controversy, however; either works for me.)

I was amazed to see the story about Operation Auca -- read a book about it when I was maybe 9yo. Weird, yes, but it was my dad's. He was making a model of a Piper Cub, which I helped with, and he gave me the book as a sort of related thing. Dad was a linguist who taught for the SIL in the 60s, so he knew Nate Saint's sister and other missionaries who went there. LIke most things, seeing something from a less religious perspective later in life is... interesting lol.

Expand full comment
un poco loco's avatar

erm, girberus. Stuck key. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Expand full comment
Suzie Smith's avatar

OMG, haven't thought about Richard Armor and Twisted Tales in years. Love his comment about Shakespear's grave/headstone.

Expand full comment
Martha Mantikoski's avatar

Girberus. Definitely girberus. Because it rhymes. Thruple works, too 😉

Expand full comment
Cynthia Losness's avatar

There was a study released a few years ago stating that people who curse colorfully are more intelligent than those who cannot make themselves drop an F bomb here and there. No idea if the study had merit — it could be like the horse dewormer “research” during Covid for all I know, but it made me snicker.

Expand full comment