56 Comments
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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

"I could never kill baby Hitler, but I would totally murder sullen teenage Hitler, who loudly sighs and rolls his eyes at everything you say"

— me on twitter, December 2, 2016

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Patris's avatar

And this is why I’m a fan

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Julia Fogg's avatar

Right?

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Random Musings and History's avatar

Lenin is a better assassination target relative to Hitler, I was think. The USSR was already in a state of Hell even before Hitler came to power in Germany, after all. You can in large part thank Lenin for that.

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Barbara Bitgood's avatar

Going to be leaning heavily on my emotional support Canadians in the coming months.

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Dale Waldo's avatar

The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

Martin Luther King Jr.

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Mercedes's avatar

I posted to FB. Hope you don't mind.

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Dale Waldo's avatar

It belongs to MLK Jr.

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Richard Rost's avatar

"...while Coppertone Caligula gave another one of his stupid hate rallies to a bunch of idiots who dropped out of middle school to pursue a career in competitive cousin fucking." --- This is why I love you. :)

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ML Yaeger's avatar

I'm still LOLing.

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Patris's avatar

He’s irresistible isn’t he?

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Janice Harvey's avatar

my favorite part💙

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Karen Rand Anderson's avatar

Yep, what he said 👍🏻

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Andrew Raymond's avatar

I'm also reminded of George Wallace here. I'm not sure at all that Apricot Pol Pot will see much of a sympathy bump here. And interestingly, they're both foaming at the mouth racists.

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/anne...'s avatar

I remember the attempt on Reagan, but not Ford, although I do remember where I was when I found out that the Australian Prime Minister had disappeared while swimming off Cheviot Beach. There are still some who are certain that he was nabbed by a Chinese sub, but see below:

In case you need more descriptions for being loopy, in Australia we also say:

- a sandwich short of a picnic

- a few roos loose in the top paddock.

There are bound to be more, but hopefully those will amuse you.

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Sheri Muntean's avatar

I may use those... Very nice

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/anne...'s avatar

I suspect that Australian English has the biggest vocabulary of any version of English - we happily borrow from both UK and US English, and then there's all of our own. Like the Irish, we love playing with language.

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pr's avatar

Quick question: is it Secret Service policy to lift up a shot ex president for a photo op while an active shooter(s) is at large?

Maybe it is. Just trying to learn about these things.

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SPW's avatar

I wondered the same thing. There is a prime picture that has the felon’s face seen full on; a prime target had there been someone else with a gun lurking in the bushes close by. Ridiculous!

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Scott Monty's avatar

Kudos for the wide variety of descriptors for Orange Julius Caesar. I counted:

- Manchurian Cantaloupe

- Tangerine Palpatine

- Danger Yam

- Coppertone Caligula

Oh, and feel free to use the one I provided above any time.

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Kevin Robbins's avatar

Donald Trump is absolutely unworthy of martyrdom. I’m willing to listen to arguments from his cultists that he should’ve died, tho. Personally, I prefer he go from coronary disease or some other malady brought on by his pisspoor diet and aversion to any exercise more strenuous than swinging a golf club.

I’ve written frequent letters to my local paper asserting maybe nobody needs a fucking assault rifle until Bambi’s mother starts carrying one. So anyway, my conscience is clear. Trump’s supporters are the ones that wanted some screwed up 20 year old to have it. 🍻

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Up & Down The Lane w/Elle Lane's avatar

You forgot the most important example here: Jair Bolsinaro pulled this same stunt with his fake stabbing while campaigning, that made him a martyr and got him elected. EXACTLY what drumpf was going for.

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ML Yaeger's avatar

The nicknames you have for him! I'm LOLing.

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Jedi Senshi's avatar

To correct you over Banting & Best discovery saving JFK.

1: Banting & Best discovered INSULIN which helps with diabetes. You are thinking about Alexander Fleming who discovered PENICILLIN.

2: JFK had part of his head blown off so no insulin or penicillin could have saved him anyhow.

That is how far I have been able to read. I wonder what other misinformation is in your blog. Do I dare to read more or should I just quit & delete? Decisions decisions.

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James Fell's avatar

Calm down, hombre. I've written about both of them and was momentarily mixed up and it's been fixed. But do feel free to leave. I don't need people with hair trigger tempers here.

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Martha Mantikoski's avatar

Or you could just chill and realize everyone is human and makes mistakes.

In my opinion, the most egregious mistake James makes in this piece is that the correct spelling of the insanity metaphor is “cuckoo for Coco Puffs”. 🤪

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ML Yaeger's avatar

Did you miss the dangling participle?

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Deborah Weinstein's avatar

ahem...Participle.

lol

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ML Yaeger's avatar

Oops! LOL!

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Mike's avatar

Totally with you. One article from this man is enough.

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Holly A Brown's avatar

The names you use for Trump in this article are pure gold! Had me chuckling the whole way through. Thanks for sharing.

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SPW's avatar

I made a comment somewhere else about this very same thing only not as eloquently. You’ve set the standard. We are violent as Hell and still try to deny it. Our country is awash with firearms and people are wanting more. Guns are the leading cause of death for children yet everyone is losing their shit over trump’s ear. I’m sorry about the real victims of that attempt. Trump will be fine but he’s left victims in his wake. We are violent and his rhetoric hasn’t helped quell feelings one bit. Sure wish there was an easy answer that would solve everything but there doesn’t seem to be right now.

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Deborah Newbury's avatar

I have a meme right here. It is TR saying "What? He didn't even finish his speech?"

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Sheri Muntean's avatar

What a great segue into the attempt on the not-so-great Tangerine! And your summation is perfect. Great way to help combat rumour mongering. Hope it works even a little bit.

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