You Better Learn How to Play Guitar

Even my wife doesn't know this

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You can pump your iron and shine your shoes
And wear your hair just right
You go down out on cruisin' street
'Cause you want to score tonight
…

And you really want to show your scars
Forget all about that macho shit
And learn how to play guitar

—Play Guitar by John Mellencamp

My wife gets these emails. Better give her a heads …