29 Comments
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Andy's avatar

I snorted at “it can fit 63 Earths inside it, 64 if Uranus gets really relaxed first”. and I’m in the hospital right now waiting for the doctor so not the best time.

Briar Patch's avatar

Right there with ya! We've been at Children's hospital since Tuesday and we have the usual morning rounds coming through... This has me cracking up!

Mike Hammer's avatar

I need to regain my composure. This was fabulous so thank you! If one can get past the first sentence that says “Uranus contains a lot of gas”, then just like Leminwinks 🐀 of South Park, you can probably make it to the end.

Dale Rowett AR OK VA PA NY's avatar

Obviously, this piece wasn't written by AI. It was written by a grown-ass man with a junior-high brain. One of my people. 😁

Sue's avatar

And another snort at "The hard pounding Uranus took....."

Chary Izquierdo's avatar

Can’t believe you left out Mars is redder than Uranus

Crystal Read's avatar

How much fun was that to write? On a scale of 1 to Uranus?

Cecil H's avatar

Uranus is of course the only one of the planets named from *Greek* mythology instead or *Roman* mythology. Think how many juvenile jokes would have been prevented if they'd used Caelus instead.

Julie Silverman's avatar

I would try for a bad pun, butt I can’t think of one.

Joseph Bonnar's avatar

You just ass aulted my sense of humor. :)

SUE's avatar

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA............AGAIN you got me laughing out loud! Another hysterical piece! Keep them coming, James! You fucking ROCK!

Paul Riggs's avatar

One of your best posts, sir. Oddly, it has close to the fewest actual swear words because it was clear we were to pronounce the ice giant planet as “yur-ANE-us.”

Excellent work.

madreflections's avatar

As an amateur astronomy earthling, you did a bang up job describing Uranus. Its unwelcoming gaseous mass along with the origins of its name. One might think you're experienced with this type of alluring galactic egnima.

Abbie's avatar

I read "galactic enema". I do not feel it changes the meaning of this sentence. Thank you. 💙

Joseph Bonnar's avatar

Thank you for cheering me up and making me laugh when I needed it.

(I just read the latest political news, and TRUCK FUMP!)

A.Gnosticthefirst's avatar

It was Dan Rather's 'Urine-us' that first got me annoyed with that pronunciation. School kids learning about the cosmos deserve a snickle or a giggle sometimes when the name comes up in class. Presumably, a gas planet exudes gas at times.

Ron Young's avatar

You forgot to mention the nasty Klingons around Uranus.

Great piece of "history".

Joseph Bonnar's avatar

"There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow!

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, WIPE THEM OFF, JIM!"

Elizabeth  Trezona's avatar

Mercy! Everyone said everything. Oh my freaking Greek god. This worked on multiple levels, James. Nice. ✌🏻🤣😊

Nicole Heilman Grissom's avatar

I feel like Beavis and Butthead reading this. One of my absolute favorite things I've ever read from you. So good I had to read it out loud to my husband, pausing to out and out cackle every 5 seconds.

Thank you James. I think so many of us needed this today, and hell, inside, I'm just a 12 year old little girl. You fuckin rock.