The Oran Fatwa
Lie like your life depends on it, because it does
The Oran fatwa told Muslims it’s okay to lie like your life depends on it, but only if you live in Spain.
--On This Day in History Shit Went Down: December 8, 1504--
In 711, the year, not the convenience store, Muslim holy warriors invaded Europe. Since the religion’s inception a mere century earlier, it conquered much of North Africa and then crossed the Strait of Gibraltar to conquer much of the Iberian Peninsula, the area that is now Spain and Portugal. And they fucking stayed there for almost eight centuries.
The Reconquista, a reconquering of the region and kicking out all the Muslim infidels by the Christian crusaders who were also considered infidels by the other side, was complete on January 2, 1492. The Christians also punted all the Jews at the same time, because why the fuck not?
Anyway, during the near millennia of occupation, Muslims were mostly okay with people remaining Christian or Jew, so long as they paid an extra tax for the privilege. To the occupying Muslims, tax revenue > converting every last motherfucker by the sword.
But when the Christians finally took all the peninsula back, they said enough of this not praying to our god bullshit. You gotta get with Jesus or else. Since we’re talking about medieval Christians, the “or else” was some nasty shit, as you might imagine.
And so, the Algerian scholar of Islamic law Ahmad ibn Abi Jum'ah said you know what? We’re gonna make it okay for Muslims to pretend to be Christian, but only those still living in Spain. The legal document was created on December 8, 1504, and became known as the Oran fatwa because that’s the name of the coastal Algerian city where the scholar was living when he wrote it.
The document basically said that good Muslims can pretend to be outwardly Christian to save their own asses. You can even get fucked up on booze and eat bacon to make shit more convincing, which doesn’t sound so bad.
Outside of Spain, however, the fatwa didn’t apply. You were expected to either GTFO of any place that wouldn’t let you be publicly Muslim, or become a martyr and die for your beliefs.
Moving is such a pain in the ass, and being tortured to death is also no bueno. I’ll take the pretend praying with a side of pork chops washed down with a nice bottle of Monastrell, thanks.
Calgary Area Folks: I’m doing a reading of some new material / a Q & A / and a book signing at Owl’s Nest Books this Tuesday, December 12, starting at 7pm. The address is 815A – 49th Street SW. As much as I enjoy talking to myself, I’d really appreciate it if some folks showed up. Hope to see you there.
And if you haven’t yet, please grab a copy or three of On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down.
You can also become a subscriber:
Proving once again that human beings have a knack for been nothing but supremely viscous not to mention over enthusiastic about their brand of faery tales a bunch of guys with too much wine or mead dreamt up over a couple of nights of heavy drinking years ago.
Monastell with pork chops? Sounds good, especially if they're grilled. Monastell tends to have slightly smokey flavor that goes good with grilled meats.