The fuck is a freedom convoy? Freedom to be a bigoted anti-vaccine dipshit is what it is.
Fucking hell where to start? Okay it’s happening mostly in Canada so perhaps you’ve not heard of it, but for American readers I’m sending a bit of blame your way because Trump didn’t just bring out the anti-science racists in your nation. That shit spilled over to the north. The assholes were always there, but Trump made letting everyone be public in their assholery “acceptable” again. Anyway, some of those assholes drive big trucks and they’re driving those trucks across Canada to the nation’s capital in Ottawa to … well we’re not entirely sure. Perhaps to get violent. Plenty of them have been promoting violence, and the authorities are taking the threats seriously.
It’s not a lot of people though. About 90% of transport truckers in Canada are vaccinated. A TINY portion of the unvaccinated truckers are protesting their inability to cross the U.S. border and back without going through a two-week quarantine. Now I’m going to tell you why this stupid fucking convoy is fucking stupid. They are pissed at the vaccine mandate imposed on cross-border truckers by the Canadian government. Thing is, the U.S. has a similar mandate, so even if Canada didn’t have one, they’d still be shit out of luck. It is an example of the Canadian and U.S. governments being on the same page. Without Canada’s mandate these anti-vax dipshits wouldn’t be able to cross the border anyway.
There is also the racism. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.
Fundraising for the convoy was organized by Tamara Lich, secretary of the “Maverick Party.” The Maverick Party used to be called Wexit, which is a play on Brexit meaning “West Exit.” It wants western provinces to separate from the rest of Canada, and it’s racist as fuck. Lich was also part of the racist “yellow vest” movement from a couple of years back. There is also fellow convoy organizer Pat King, who keeps livestreaming his participation in the convoy from the lead truck, and is noted for his extremist rhetoric advocating for violence against the government, Islamophobia, antisemitism, homophobia, and spewing of conspiracy nonsense. He goes on racist tirades about how whites are being replaced and need to fight back.
This is not a trucker convoy. As I said, 90% of truckers in the nation are vaccinated. This is an anti-vaxxer convoy that the Venn diagram shows a shit ton of overlap with all sorts of bigotry. These are shitty people with shitty ideas and a shitty message.
Except not very many shitty people.
Former hockey great Theo Fleury, who went off the deep end some time ago, was recently on Fox News saying the convoy was 50,000 trucks strong. Yeah, not quite. A post this morning by the Kingston Police in Ontario has the count at:
· 17 full tractor trailers
· 104 tractors with no trailers
· 424 passenger vehicles
· 6 RVs
That’s just a wee bit short of 50,000. And that’s not the only misinformation being spewed. They have shared images of bare grocery store shelves blamed on the vaccine mandates, but most of those photos are revealed to not even be in Canada and/or not recent. A lot of the supply chain issues that do exist have nothing to do with the mandates but are actually due to people BEING FUCKING SICK WITH COVID. They’ve also shared false images of lines of trucks that are NOT the convoy. I mean, did they think we wouldn’t notice that the grass in those photos was fucking green? In Canada in fucking January? These people have stupid they haven’t even used yet.
The vast majority of truckers don’t support this dumbfuck convoy. The Canadian Truckers Alliance has denounced it. But others support it. Shitty people support it, like the racist as fuck Action 4 Canada conspiracy group and the extreme right People’s Party of Canada. Also, ambulatory diaper stain Donald Trump Jr., who said the convoy “is a genius idea.” Another douchebag supporter is Elon Musk, who tweeted, “Canadian truckers rule.” And he wasn’t talking about the 90% vaccinated ones. Fox News douche Tucker Carlson also interviewed one of the truckers in the convoy, saying, “God bless you for that,” to which the trucker responded to Carlson: “You’re a hero to all of us.”
There is a lot of disturbing rhetoric coming from those in and those who support the convoy, saying it’s time for civil war they have guns they want it to be Canada’s January 6th.
These dipshits really do see themselves as freedom fighters. The utterly laughable feature photo? That was painted by a supporter who imagines God being on their side as they part the red sea of liberal sharks seeking to, uh, try and stop people dying from a highly contagious disease?
Some hashtags on Twitter have called it the #KarenKonvoy, but can we ditch the Karen thing? It was funny for about five minutes, and most of the actual Karens I know are awesome. These are mostly men being douchebags. Considering all the racism prevalent in the convoy, I prefer the #FluTruxKlan. Another one I like is the #CaillouConvoy.
If you don’t know who Caillou is, below is my history post about him from September 2020.
In conclusion, fuck this convoy and anyone who supports it.
Here is the Caillou post:
It’s okay to despise a little kid if he’s just a cartoon, right? Because holy shit do a lot of people hate this sniveling little fuckstick. You think Canada Geese are evil? Canada’s Caillou is like a four-year-old drank the souls of an entire flock of geese and was raised by Chernobyl wolves while fed a steady diet of meth and Monster Energy Drinks. Having not ever heard of Caillou is a blissful state of ignorance akin to having never heard the Macarena.
--On This Day in History, Shit Went Down: September 15, 1997--
A year before our first child was born, Caillou debuted on Teletoon on September 15, 1997. And because kids are a handful, yeah, we let him watch some fucking TV. Sue us. It was referred to as an “educational children’s show,” which I suppose it was, if the intent was to educate children on how to be the most annoying little shitnuggets of their generation.
Side note: Our kids turned out awesome, despite this fucking show.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure Quebec was pissed over the 1995 separation referendum narrowly getting voted down and this was their revenge. The show was based on some books, which I think we can assume also suck. The show ran for 13 godawful years and the National Post referred to it as “quite possibly the world’s most universally reviled children’s program.” Even John Oliver proclaimed, “Fuck you, Caillou!”
There was no educational component, no trying to teach math or colors or morality tales; it was completely lacking in teachable moments. Just a whining brat who regularly has meltdowns over the most minor of inconveniences. People try to get him to do things and he sucks, and he cries. He also regularly beats his little sister Rosie and is raised by parents who I’m certain have a hydroponic marijuana operation in the basement because no fucking way could anyone tolerate such a demon child without being baked out of their skulls 24/7.
Speaking of spawn of the underworld, where is he hiding the triple 6? His taint? Fucker’s bald. Why is he bald? According to the show’s producers it’s because in the books he was way younger and so he had no hair, and when they made him older on the show adding hair made him unrecognizable.
Yeah, that’s fucking bullshit. And it’s not because Caillou has cancer. Caillou is cancer. He has no hair because he’s the worst. His hair rejected him, said fuck you and noped out. Caillou was voiced by three different girls over the years. The voice actor for the first season referred to him as “Quite a whiny character.” No fucking shit. The second actor died in a car crash when she was only 17. Shit I almost forgot. The fucking theme song. It’s the Macarena of children’s show music.
John Oliver was right. Fuck you, Caillou.
Get the book ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY SH!T WENT DOWN at JamesFell.com.
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May a 5,000 strong flock of actual Canadian geese fly over these mother fuckers after those geese have been exceedingly well fed on laxatives.
1) It is fair to blame us Yanks. I recall a study some time back that Trump was the most influential source of COVID misinformation in the entire world.
2) They don't realize that artwork looks like a poster for a particularly hilarious installation of the Sharknado series, do they?