The Battle of the Bulge Begins
On This Day in History: December 16, 1944
Being that I had a weight loss book published by Random House in 2014, I should note that this Battle of the Bulge story has nothing to do with adiposity. It’s the World War II battle, when Germany launched a massive counteroffensive against Western Allies who thought the fucking Nazis were ready to give up.
--On This Day in History Shit Went Down: December 16, 1944--
It was one of those battles that convinced America it’d single-handedly won WWII, even though the Soviet Union accounted for 75% of German corpses. But ‘murica did kick some ass in this battle. Winston Churchill called it “the greatest American battle of the war.”
We’ll be home by Christmas, many Allied soldiers were thinking in the fall of 1944, but Christmas sucked that year. Germany knew it was done for, what with the USSR pushing steadily from the east, Italy switching sides, and Western Allies also coming in from the south. In hindsight, what with how shitty life under the Soviet Union was, it might have been wiser to throw everything at holding back the commies and welcome the West into Germany. But Hitler wasn’t exactly logical.
And yet there was some logic to it, had it worked. The purpose of the counteroffensive was to split the Allied lines and reclaim the strategically critical Port of Antwerp. Then they’d encircle and destroy the divided Allied forces one by one. The Germans knew they couldn’t win the war, but such a victory could allow them to force a negotiated peace treaty that didn’t involve unconditional surrender.
The Battle of the Bulge began on December 16, 1944, when over 400,000 men and a metric shit-ton of heavy weaponry came charging through the Ardennes Forest (which covers parts of Belgium, Luxembourg, France, and Germany) toward 228,000 unprepared and battle-fatigued mostly American soldiers. To add insult to horrifying death, it was also fuck ass cold that year.
The American supply lines were stretched and depleted, the men exhausted from weeks of continuous fighting. I know Band of Brothers is awesome, but the series perpetuates the myth that Bastogne was the turning point. The Battle of the Bulge lasted six brutal weeks, and while Bastogne was important, it was actually Elsenborn Ridge at the northernmost part of the German attack where they were stopped cold. In the cold. The outnumbered American forces at Elsenborn faced off against the best-equipped elite forces in the German Army—selected by Hitler himself—and halted their advance.
And although the Americans were outnumbered at Elsenborn and elsenwhere—that’s not a typo, just an attempt at humor—that inequality didn’t last. It soon shifted in U.S. favor. Germany had been seriously depopulated, and was running out of warm bodies, whereas the Americans kept sending more and more men and supplies into the fight. By the time it was over on January 25, 1945, the Americans had almost twice as many men and ten times the tanks as Germany in the battle. It was the last German offensive on the Western Front. After that, it was all retreat.
Those who cannot remember the past need a history teacher who says “fuck” a lot. Get both volumes of “On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down” at JamesFell.com/books. They make great gifts, and ‘tis the fuckin’ season!
And don’t forget to
The only story I ever heard my grandfather tell from his military service was from the winter of 44-45 during the Bulge. He and another infantryman were cut off from their unit during some pretty hairy skirmishing and were given shelter in a barn by a young farmer and his wife, knowing full well they would’ve been shot if they’d been discovered for harboring allied troops. They got through the night and rejoined their unit the following afternoon without barely communicating with their benefactors. Can’t help but wonder how many times similar situations ended up far worse 😕
When I was a child, maybe 5, I learned my father was in that battle, and that was what my child's mind thought it was. He survived, but was caught between enemy lines. He was nearly vivisected by shrapnel, (His scars went from his navel to his spine.) and managed to crawl back to his squad. He was found holding a grenade in his hand that miraculously was a dud. (he was determined to take as many of the enemy with him as possible.)