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You know that 300 movie and how the sequel was about a big naval battle? I sure do, because I used to write about fitness for the Los Angeles Times and got to interview actors Lena Headey and Eva Green when Rise of An Empirecame out. Surprise: the movie wasn’t that historically accurate, but the naval battle was one of the most important turning points in ancient history.
--On This Day in History, Shit Went Down: September 29, 480 BCE--
FYI, Lena Headey swears like a sailor and is fucking hilarious. Speaking of sailors, the naval battle. It was during the second invasion of Greece by the Persian Empire. If you recall the first of the 300 movies, despite Gerard Butler’s brave last stand, they all fucking died at the Battle of Thermopylae a couple of weeks earlier. At the same time as Thermopylae, the Greek Navy was getting its ass kicked in the Battle of Artemisium; they retreated after suffering heavy losses. Things were not looking good for Greece.
In the first movie Leonidas made much of how Thermopylae was a choke point that a small number of men could hold against a large army. Same deal with Salamis, except on water. The Greeks were terribly outnumbered, but Athenian General Themistocles persuaded the various Greek allies to take their battered fleet into battle again, but this time being smarter about it.
Subterfuge won the day; Themistocles used a spy to convince the Persian Navy he wanted to defect to their side and that the Greek command was fighting amongst itself. Considering this was a loose alliance, it wasn’t hard to believe. Themistocles convinced Persian Emperor Xerxes that if he sailed into the narrow straits on either side of the island of Salamis, he could block those ships seeking to flee and crush the alliance. While the Persians sought fleeing Greek ships, the defenders went on the offense.
The Greeks had fewer than 400 ships. The Persians had approximately 2,500. In the narrow straits their vastly superior numbers were a hindrance, making maneuvering impossible. On September 29, 480 BCE, the Persians were in nautical chaos as the organized and determined Greek fleet went on a sinking spree, winning the day. Xerxes said fuck this I’m bored and took a sizeable chunk of his army home, leaving his general behind to mop up the Greeks on land and sea. He had every reason to believe that would be successful, because the Persians still had vastly superior numbers.
But it was not to be. The following year, on land at the Battle of Plataea and on sea at the Battle of Mycale, the Greeks sent the rest of Xerxes’ forces packing. Well, not many of them. They killed most of the Persian soldiers and sailors, and only small portion ever made it home.
That was the end of Ancient Persia invading Greece.
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Gotta admit, I wondered who would be fighting over salami. Not even a really good pepperoni would merit that