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Twice in two centuries the city of Vienna proved to be a historical turning point in a war between Christianity and Islam. Jesus saved the day both times. Okay, maybe not, but hear me out.
--On This Day in History, Shit Went Down: September 12, 1683--
In 1529 the Ottoman Siege of Vienna was led by Sulieman the Magnificent. Things started off shitty for StM, because the rains were unusually bad that year. Like, biblical flooding kind of bad. He had to leave a bunch of artillery and other material behind on his way to the siege. When he reached Vienna, his troops were not in good shape from months of trudging through the shit weather. And the rain just wouldn’t fucking stop. Then, fucking snow. Fuck. Fuck this stupid fucking weather. FUCK!
Western European Christianity was saved from a Muslim invasion by nasty weather. Praise Jesus! Had to be him sending the right storm at the right time and not a lucky coincidence at all.
Fast-forward a century-and-a-half. This time it’s not the Siege of Vienna, but the Battle of Vienna. Same players, more Jesus to the rescue. The Ottomans had this major erection for capturing Vienna because of its important strategic location, making it the key to conquering the rest of Western Europe.
The Ottomans laid siege again for a couple of months, but then there was a big-ass decisive battle. I mentioned Jesus saving the day, but it was no climatological miracle this time. It was the power of belief. Or, at least, the power of shared belief in Jesus against those heathen Muslims so let’s work together and do some killin’ of people who pray wrong.
Attend my sweary open bar book launch party on Sept 21!
For the first time ever, there was a Christian coalition involving the Holy Roman Empire led by the Hapsburg Monarchy joining forces with the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. They banded together to kick some Ottoman ass. The battle, which took place on September 12, 1683, included the largest cavalry charge in history.
The battle marked a major turning point in centuries of warfare between the Holy Roman and Ottoman empires. It sent the Ottomans running and over the next 16 years the HRE took back Eastern Europe from the Middle Eastern invaders.
And as legend has it, the croissant was invented in Vienna after the battle as a celebration of victory, with the pastry design referring to the crescent shapes on Ottoman flags. And it was introduced to the French a century later by Marie Antoinette, who was from, get this, Vienna. Yummy!
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