ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY: October 8

The Department of Homeland Security

When it comes to American presidents, the Naranja Nazi could give lessons to people who sucked at it how to really suck. But Der Pumpkinfuhrer’s legacy shouldn’t let ol’ dubya off the hook for his rampant fuckery. On October 8, 2001, less than a month after 9/11, President Bush Jr. announced the creation of the Department of Homeland Acts of Patriotism. Yeah I know that’s not the real name. Shut up.

--On This Day in History Shit Went Down: October 8, 2001--

The Patriot Act was a different kind of surveillance state assholery that showed up a few weeks later, giving sweeping powers to the government to spy on its own citizens. It took a lot of Americans rights to privacy, dropped a stenchy three-coiler shit on them, and flushed.

The Act was one thing, but the creation of the Department of Homeland Security represented the largest federal government reorganization in over half a century. What’s funny is that it was a Democratic Party senator, Joe Lieberman, who proposed it. I don’t know how much you remember what things were like in the wake of the 9/11 attacks, but people on both sides of the political divide were fucking pissed and wanted some vengeance. Helluva lot of Democrats voted to invade Iraq. But it was Bush, being led by his dick veep Dick Cheney, who made it happen.

For over two decades, the department has been an epic clusterfuck.

It integrated anti-terrorism, immigration, disaster management, border security, and cyber security into one organization. Poorly. It did that very poorly. It came into being on March 1, 2003, just a few weeks before the invasion of Iraq because of their weapons of mass oh wait they didn’t fucking have any.

The department is a wasteful behemoth, employing a quarter million people while accomplishing the square root of fuck all except having helped turn the country into a security state on a permanent wartime footing. Killing thousands by flying those planes into buildings was only the beginning of the terror, what with how the American government repeatedly shot itself in every foot in the aftermath. I bet Al-Qaeda was fucking tickled.

Allegedly, it was about protecting the country from terrorists. In reality, it’s been used to target anyone, including American citizens, deemed even slightly unsavory or not in line with maintaining the status quo. Civil rights activists, peaceful protestors, refugees, immigrants, or people who want to take a bottle of sunscreen in their carryon luggage on vacation.

The broad mandate of the DHS to invade the lives of every American under the guise of “national security” has been deemed unconstitutional by many. You remember the Black Lives Matter protests in the wake of the murder of George Floyd by police? You remember the photos and videos of protesters being unlawfully arrested, abducted off the street and tossed into unmarked vans? It was DHS that did that shit. And what about all those seeking asylum at the border, where children and parents were separated and many never reunited? DHS did that too.

In the twenty years after the formation of DHS, detention of immigrants tripled.

It’s been a colossal waste of money as well as violation of civil rights. I’ve barely scratched the surface of how much it sucks. Fuck George Bush, and fuck the DHS. Many have called for its abolition. It’s time for it to die.

Those who cannot remember the past … need a history teacher who says “fuck” a lot. So manifest your destiny of buying my book On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down.

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