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You don’t get “the Impaler” added to your name by being a nice guy. Vlad Dracula may not have been an actual vampire, since those don’t exist, but he did kill plenty of folks. He’s also one of the most important rulers in the history of what is now Romania, and considered a national hero. Probably not by the people who got giant stakes shoved up their asses, though.
--On This Day in History Shit Went Down: November 26, 1476--
What a life this guy led. His dad, Vlad Dracul, was ruler of Wallachia, and the Ottomans held Vlad Jr. and his younger brother hostage so Dad Vlad would remain loyal. But Dad Vlad and his oldest son were murdered in 1447, and there was a scramble for the throne. Vlad Jr. had a second cousin named Vladislav, because people liked that name, who wanted the throne, and there were armies running this way and that, and Vlad Jr. seized the throne in Wallachia with Ottoman support while his cousin was away fighting other Ottomans. Anyway, Vladislav got his ass kicked by the Ottomans then learned Vlad Jr. had just stolen the throne and was all “That motherfucker!” and took the remnants of his army back home and Vlad Jr. ran away. Confused yet? I am.
His first rule lasted less than two months. Eight years of exile followed then Vlad Jr. said fuck that cousin-douche and invaded his homeland again, this time with Hungarian support, and killed Vladislav. Then he went medieval on some asses. He did a purge of the nobility who he suspected of plotting against him, and attacked the Transylvanian Saxons for supporting his opponents, plundering their villages and taking captives back to Wallachia for a nice little bit of impaling. We’re talking tens of thousands of men, women, and children. If you google that, there are various methods of shoving a long sharp pole through parts of a human body that really aren’t supposed to have poles inserted into them. None of them are pleasant.
Then Vlad, having earned “the Impaler,” six years into his second rule went after the Ottomans in 1462, lost, and spent 14 years as a prisoner. Third time wasn’t the charm either. Vlad the Impaler, after having rallied supporters, once again fought and reclaimed the Wallachian throne on November 26, 1476. But he had to fight to retain power and a month later was killed in battle with the Ottomans who supported his rival. They hacked Vlad’s body to pieces, and his burial site is unknown. Maybe he turned into a bat.
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