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Jesus Christ it’s just a fucking game. But people get worked up over silly games, and during a November 19, 2004 basketball game between the Indiana Pacers and Detroit Pistons, a brawl broke out, and not just between players. The crowd got in on it too.
--On This Day in History, Shit Went Down: November 19, 2004--
There were 46 seconds left in the game, and Indiana was ahead 97 to 82, so the game was fucking over with no way of Detroit winning. So … maybe just let it go? But nope. Center for the Detroit Pistons Ben Wallace tried for a layup but was fouled in the process by Indiana forward Ron Artest. Wallace was pissed and shoved Artest; both teams rushed forward to separate the pair. Then things got much worse.
The teams have history. This was their first matchup since the previous season’s Eastern Conference Final, which the Pistons won on their road to the 2004 NBA title. It was a highly anticipated meeting that was televised nationally. Continues below …
I absolutely loathe basketball because I was the most uncoordinated teen imaginable and my statistically impossible ability to miss the basket every single time made me a target of much teasing. Despite becoming very fit in adulthood, that has not at all changed. I don’t need money for basketball lessons, but rather beer to wash those memories away. Click the green button.
Ron Artest was having a helluva game, scoring 17 points in the first quarter, 24 in all. Then he fouled Wallace in the dying seconds for no fucking reason. Who cares if Wallace made the layup? There was no way in shit the Pistons could pull out a victory. And it was a shitty foul too, a contemptuous slap across the back of the head. Wallace was furious, using both hands to shove Artest in the face.
Both teams rushed in, and things might have been fine because such altercations in basketball rarely last beyond few seconds of shoving. Artest lay down on the scorer’s table to calm himself, as he’d been taught to do. Wallace was still furious and was being restrained by players from both sides. Then everything went to poop.
The game was being played in Michigan; Artest was in enemy territory. John Green, a spectator, threw a plastic cup filled with beer at Artest as he lay on the scorer’s table, hitting him in the chest. Artest leapt up from the table and into the stands, then proceeding to beat the shit out of Michael Ryan. Who is Michael Ryan? Not the guy who threw the beer. Just an innocent bystander caught up in a case of mistaken basketball brawl identity.
Radio announcer Mark Boyle tried to restrain Artest but was knocked backward and trampled, suffering a head laceration and five fractured vertebrae. Pistons fan William Paulson then threw another beer at Artest, hitting him in the face, and Pacer’s teammate Stephen Jackson leapt to Artest’s defense, punching Paulson in the face. Then it snowballed. More of those expensive arena beers, plus punches, plus other stuff was thrown.
The brawl lasted several minutes, and the game was called. Nine players were suspended for a sum of 146 games. Five players and five fans were charged with assault. Nicknamed “The Malice at the Palace,” it’s been referred to as “the most infamous brawl in NBA history.” In the aftermath, security at games was heightened and alcohol sales were limited.
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I, too, hate basketball. I was a cheerleader and those assholes always slung sweat around and shoved people. Great column though.
What simpleton, what jackanape, what absolute fucking BUFFOON passed up calling this "The Basketbrawl of '04"???