On This Day in History: November 15

The Scramble for Africa

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Seems to me the city of Berlin has a history of people getting together and deciding to do things that involve a lot of other people dying. You know how Las Vegas is a popular conference destination for modern businesses and associations? Berlin was that in 1884, except the business was how European powers were going to conquer and exploit Africa.

--On This Day in History Shit Went Down: November 15, 1884--

Late in the 19th century there was a “New Imperialism,” which saw various powers seize land that was already occupied by other people. One example of such colonial fuckery was the “Scramble for Africa.”

There was a brewing conflict, and Belgian King Leopold II, who fucked over the Congo in every way imaginable, said, hey, rather than fight, let’s have a party and set up some rules. And Otto von Bismarck, who was running the show in Germany, said that sounds awesome, I’ll host. And so, a dozen European countries, plus the U.S. and the Ottoman Empire, got together starting on November 15, 1884 in the city of Berlin to determine exactly how they would work together to rape an entire continent. But they didn’t want it to seem like they were dicks about the whole thing, so to put lipstick on the pig of mass colonization they said they’d end slavery while they were at it.

A common myth about the conference, which lasted almost four months, was that it was various powers hovering over a map with rulers and pencils to sketch dividing lines regarding who owned what. But that wasn’t what happened. What really happened was much worse.

What it did was establish the rules of the game of how they would conquer the continent. First was that they wouldn’t even consider that any of the lands in Africa had a sovereign right to self-government. They were on a “civilizing mission” to “save Africa from the Africans.” And in the process, they would turn it into a personal playground and steal as many of their natural resources as they wished. There was no African representation at the conference, because their opinions didn’t matter.

You know how heist movies have a big planning montage? That’s what this was, with the goal of stealing a continent, along with a whole lot of rape and murder thrown in. And that’s what they did. To add religious legitimacy, the General Act of the conference, which was signed and ratified by all participating countries other than the U.S., declared the rules for their thievery were done “In the Name of God Almighty.”

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