On This Day in History: November 1

Painting the Sistine Chapel

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I don’t mean to body shame Adam, but you know that image of God reaching down from the heavens and his finger is about to touch Adam’s finger? The one that appears on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel? The first biblical man is hung like a hamster. Not sure if Michelangelo intended to insult Adam that way, but there are plenty of other insults on the painted ceiling. And they’re targeted at the pope.

--On This Day in History, Shit Went Down: November 1, 1512--

The Sistine Chapel was consecrated in 1483, then in 1508 Pope Julius II said to Michelangelo: “Paint that fucker.” It took him four years, and on November 1, 1512, which is All Saints Day, it was exhibited to the public for the first time. And the people were all oh ah that’s fucking amazing. Because it is fucking amazing. I’m gonna go see it next spring.

Over time, others started to look at the Easter eggs Michelangelo inserted into his painting and said I see what you did there. Except Easter had nothing to do with it. It was more about pre-Jesus kinda shit. And it was a direct fuck you to the guy who hired him, who Michelangelo was pissed at. Because the pope was a total cock. Popes being cocks is common. Continue reading below …

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The figures on the ceiling are Jews.

Sixteenth century Italy was overwhelmingly Catholic, and yet Michelangelo ignored the New Testament and instead painted images of Noah’s Ark and Adam and Eve and other Old Testament stuff. He was often subtle about his message of Catholics having forgotten their Jewish roots, such as depicting Adam and Eve next to a fig tree, which is Jewish tradition, rather than an apple tree. Rather than having the work be all “fuck yeah Catholicism is so great go Jesus go popes!” Michelangelo subverted the project to make it more humanist in nature, and tolerant of Judaism at a time when Jews were very much not tolerated by Catholics.

He also told Pope Julius to fuck off.

Michelangelo was primarily a sculptor and didn’t like being dragged away from that work to do this multiyear paint job, so he was already pretty pissed. But he also detested the corruption and opulence of the Catholic Church, so he painted Pope Julius II into a chair and had one of the putti—those fat little cherub kids who sometimes have wings—give the pope the finger.

Another rebellious act in the painting, and there are many, was to show Jews in heaven. How dare they?

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