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The Ides of March are the 15th of said month; the Romans considered it a deadline for settling debts. On that day in 44 BCE they settled the shit out of one with Julius Caesar for wrecking the Roman Republic.
--On This Day in History, Shit Went Down: March 15, 44 BCE--
Who was Julius Caesar, other than a guy that got the bejesus stab—oh wait, Jesus wasn’t born yet—stabbed out of him for being a dictatorial dick? He was Roman aristocracy, but not from a family that high up in the royal food chain. He definitely was an ambitious motherfucker though.
Born in 100 BCE, he lost his inheritance when young because of shifting political fuckery that caused him to flee Rome. He returned at the age of 22 and had to—gasp!—work for a living. He became a prosecutor known for his oration and dogged pursuit of corrupt politicians. How ironic.
Here’s a story. Around the age of 30 he was kidnapped by pirates and held for ransom. He told them that after he was released, he would see them all crucified. They didn’t believe him, to their he-actually-had-them-chased-down-and-nailed-to-a-cross peril. Then followed a long military and political career he kissed the right ass killed the right people bribed the right decision-makers slaughtered and enslaved a bunch of Europe crossed the Rubicon with a legion of battle-hardened troops which was against the law fuck you I’m in charge now wanna fight about it? And they did fight, but it wasn’t much of a contest.
It was 49 BCE when he marched into Rome and became something of a de facto emperor, transforming it from a government ruled by a bunch of squabbling rich dudes to one ruthlessly commanded by a single egomaniac.
Caesar had his supporters in the senate just as Trump has those who would gladly lick his colon until it sparkled even if he did say their wife was ugly. Caesar spent a few years traveling the empire and consolidating his power then returned in 45 BCE and was named dictator for life. Then he changed the calendar.
When it came to multiple people committing public murder, “three last straws” are referred to that set them to stabbing. The first one is fucking stupid. The senate all came to Caesar to give him honors for being awesome or some other ass-kissing bullshit, and he wouldn’t stand to greet them as protocol dictated and really is just kind of polite. The second one was some stupid petty bullshit about a crown placed on a statue. The third kind of brings the previous two into context. A month before his assassination, Mark Antony did an unofficial crowning of Caesar at a festival and the assembled senators were not impressed. They were starting to realize how their beloved republic was becoming an empire and decided that a bunch of them getting together and plunging sharpened steel into the wannabe emperor’s sensitive bits was the best course of action.
Alas, a civil war followed that ended up completing the transformation of Rome from republic to empire.
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