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She turned me into a newt!
I got better, but Bridget Bishop didn’t. On June 2, 1692, she was the first person condemned to death for practicing witchcraft during the Salem Witch Trials.
--On This Day in History Shit Went Down: June 2, 1692--
Rich trials have a witch history. Wait, what? Hey, there’s an idea. Putting rich people on trial. All in favor say “Burn the rich!” In the late 17th century the practice was fading in Europe, but those crazy ‘muricans weren’t yet ready to let go of their killing of audacious women. I mean, we’re talking about Puritans here. And since dudes were always having “sinful” thoughts about what was under all those many layers of women’s clothing, then it must be the women who were the sinners, right? That’s why 80% of witchcraft accusations were against women, specifically targeting women who didn’t comply with ideas of gender norms.
Speaking of sexism, you know that movie Mean Girls? Seventeen-year-old Elizabeth Hubbard scoffed at such varsity-league frenemy. Internalizing misogyny like a fucking champion, she was the main instigator of the trials, faking “supernatural fits” and saying they were caused by witchcraft. During the year of witch trial hysteria, she would file 40 legal complaints of witchcraft, and testify 32 times.
Anything could trigger an accusation, including just being plain old pissed off at someone. Neighbor’s dog won’t shut the fuck up? It’s because Snoopy is telling you its owner is a witch. Burn her! Actually, in Salem they were hanged. But dead is dead.
Bridget Bishop was accused of using witchcraft against five young women, including the aforementioned Elizabeth Hubbard. They testified Bishop’s specter would appear and pinch, choke, or bite them. So obviously the witch had to die. Others jumped on the bandwagon with additional accusations, and they inspected her body and found a third nipple, which is totally a witch thing. Then, later, they couldn’t find the additional nipple, which was even more proof of her guilt because she obviously used witchcraft as a form of 17th-century plastic surgery to remove it. They hanged her on June 10 that year.
All told, 20 women and men were executed for witchcraft during the trials, and five more died in prison. Oh, and witch hunts are not a thing of the past by any stretch. Rather, they are far more prevalent now in regions such as India, South America, and Africa, with a much higher death toll than previous centuries.
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