On This Day in History: June 15

Magna Carta

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Magna Carta was an important historical document focused on improving the lives of already rich and powerful people. And it pretty much accomplished the square root of fuck all.

Worst. King. Ever!

--On This Day in History, Shit Went Down: June 15, 1215--

That’s the way many felt about King John of England. He’d lost his lands in France and wanted them back, which meant taxes. People don’t like taxes but fuck those people. I’m the king! He taxed his barons up the ass and if they didn’t pay, he would punish them and seize their lands. Despite all the taxes to pay for his wars, he didn’t get those lands in France back. D’oh!

He was known for being petty, spiteful, and cruel. When he returned from France in failure, he faced a rebellion among his barons because they’d had enough of his shit. King John basically said fuck you and the barons said no, fuck you, and they attacked and surrounded London and John said fine let’s do this peace treaty thing.

That’s what Magna Carta, signed on June 15, 1215, was: a peace treaty. The full name is Magna Carta Libertatum,which means “Great Charter of Freedoms.” It had 63 clauses, most of which were to address how John was a total dick and that he needed to stop doing dickish, autocratic things. One of the most famous was the 39th clause, which gave “free men” the right to justice and a fair trial.

FYI, that “free men” stuff is kind of like the “all men are created equal” part of the Declaration of Independence. Just like how the 1776 document was written by dudes who enslaved hundreds of people and had a pretty narrow idea of what “men” meant, Magna Carta’s “free men” didn’t include the majority of the population, who were unfree peasants.

Anyway, neither side abided by the accord, and the First Baron’s War broke out within a few months. A year later King John assploded himself to death from dysentery.

But the treaty did end up having a lasting legacy, providing a framework between king and subjects. It put forth the idea that everyone, including the king, was subject to the law. It was resurrected and revised a number of times—the majority of its clauses have been repealed—but many consider Magna Carta to be the foundation of English democracy.

Its most iconic and lasting legacy is telling people that when a leader is an evil and corrupt motherfucker, you don’t have to stand for that shit.

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