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What kind of shit do you have to pull to get “the Terrible” added to your name? Especially in Russia, where their rulers aren’t exactly known for their sunny dispositions? Here is the story of some nasty shit that Ivan did.
--On This Day in History Shit Went Down: January 16, 1547--
Ivan IV Vasilyevich was only three when his dad, the Grand Prince of Moscow, ate his last bowl of borscht. Ivan didn’t do much other than have toddler tantrums for a bit, but when he was 16, his council proclaimed the Tsardom of Russia with Ivan as first-ever Tsar. He was crowned on January 16, 1547. That’s the Gregorian calendar, which they didn’t use yet, but never mind that.
When it comes to his nickname, it’s not “terrible” like “holy fucking shit Trump was a terrible president.” The translation from Russian of “Ivan Grozny” isn’t the best. It’s more about inspiring fear and obedience through the wielding of power. Ivan got the moniker because he was considered to be formidable in some ways and shitty in others. Trump was a terrible president because he is just plain shitty.
As Tsar of all Russia, Ivan sought to establish his empire, expanding it to include non-Slavic states. Tsar, FYI, is derived from the Latin caesar to mean “emperor.” And that’s what he intended to be. And much like some Roman emperors did to the senate, Ivan terrorized the shit out of the Russian nobility to consolidate his power.
As was common in pretty much all of world history, there was famine and plague and Russia got its ass kicked in some wars. Ivan’s wife was (probably) murdered, so Ivan was pissed and did some killing and exiling of the nobility via the creation of a secret police. It was that police force—loyal only to him—and the centralization of power that would be his lasting legacy.
Because he killed the other legacy. He beat his pregnant daughter-in-law, the wife of his oldest son and heir, and killed the child she was carrying. When his son was all “Hey Dad what the fuck?” he beat his son to death as well. That left his younger son Feodor in charge when Ivan died at the age of 53, and Feodor was a total fucking putz who died childless, launching what is called the “Time of Troubles” in Russia. The next century was a fucktacular shitnado of ass for Russia, a period of anarchy and lawlessness finally rectified by Peter the Great.
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