On This Day in History: February 12

The Scream is stolen

AUDIO VERSION HERE

There is more than one The Scream, and the fucking things have been stolen more than once too. By dumbasses. Who the fuck steals something you can’t sell? It’s one of the most recognizable works of art in history and it’s worthless as stolen property. Still, idjits gonna idjit.

--On This Day in History Shit Went Down: February 12, 1994--

There are four versions of Edvard Munch’s masterpiece; two in paint, two in pastel, with the first being painted in 1893, potentially influenced by the glowing skies created by the mega-explodey-kaboom of the Krakatoa volcano a decade previous.

The second painted version was created in 1910, stolen in 2004, and recovered two years later, having suffered minor damage. The original 1893 version was stolen first on February 12, 1994 during the Winter Olympic Games in Norway. And it was a clusterfuck.

Because Olympics, Norway’s National Museum moved The Scream from its usual more secure location to a gallery on the ground floor in order to showcase Norwegian culture; they wanted to brag about their artist who died half a century earlier. From a security standpoint, this was a bad move because ground floors are easy to escape from. But the museum was all nah we got cameras and alarms and shit it will be fine. It was not fine.

Thieves broke in at 6:30 a.m. and set off the alarm. The guard on duty called the cops and they arrived in minutes, but the perpetrators were already gone, having left behind a note that read, “Thousand thanks for the poor security.” They’d completed the heist in under a minute.

The painting is worth a stupid amount, if sold legitimately. But even the most avaricious billionaire with a stolen collection would be a fool to purchase it. These dumbfucks didn’t plan in advance, and obviously had no buyer lined up, because a month later the gallery received a ransom note for US$1 million. For comparison, in 2012 the secondpastel version of The Scream sold for US$120 million. Fuck knows what the original painting is worth.

Anyway the museum said feast upon our testicles and so the thieves cut the price even further and went looking for a dumbass buyer. Instead, the thieves found themselves ensnared in a sting operation involving both Norwegian and British police. The painting was returned undamaged that spring, and the four thieves convicted. However, the British police had entered Norway using false identities so three of the thieves were acquitted on appeal.

In an M. Night Shyamalan-level twist, back when he was good at that kind of thing, it was discovered they’d been hired to steal it by a gang of bank robbers who didn’t want the painting. They wanted the police losing their shit over the theft so they could rob a bunch of banks unhindered. Their plan worked.

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