On This Day in History: December 26

The end of the Soviet Union

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In June 1987 President Reagan gave a speech in West Berlin where he said, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” And no one, including Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev, paid attention. But then two-and-a-half years later people started tearing down the wall and Americans were all “Our president! Our president made that happen!” Yeah, bullshit.

--On This Day in History Shit Went Down: December 26, 1991--

They called it the “Cold War” because the two superpowers, the U.S. and the USSR, never directly confronted each other. That’s because they had a metric shit-ton of intercontinental boomsticks that could obliterate the planet, so they fought through proxies instead. Until the Soviets finally said okay we’re out of money so we’re done now.

In 1989 President Gorbachev began loosening the yoke of control on various Soviet satellite states in eastern Europe. Bush Sr. was president at the time and basically sat back and watched it happen. Gorbachev’s actions were prompted by bankruptcy. The military expenditures in controlling their empire destroyed the economy, and so they pulled back. Lacking Soviet military support, the communist leaders in eastern bloc countries were all like “Oh wow are we ever fucked.”

And fucked they were, because the removal of troops resulted in an organic, democratic momentum that swept many eastern European nations, leading to the fall of the Berlin Wall in November 1989. The overthrowing of communist governments was largely peaceful, with the exception of Romania. That was a violent revolution that saw the execution of the president, who by the way was a murderous cock who had it coming.

The fun wasn’t over yet. Gorbachev began the democratization process at home, allowing for multi-party elections. Commies didn’t like the “parade of sovereignties” spelling the death of their once-mighty empire, and in August 1991 they tried a coup against Gorby, but it failed. At that point the writing was on the wall for the old USSR. Everyone was like fuck this “union,” we’re out. By December the collapse of the empire was complete. Gorbachev resigned on Christmas Day, and on December 26, 1991, the Soviet Union officially dissolved.

Boris Yeltsin was president of Russia, which was the largest republic in the former USSR, and he led the formation of the “Commonwealth of Independent States” as a cooperative entity among many former Soviet republics. Boris also took control of the launch codes for their several thousand nukes.

Internationally, Gorbachev is mostly celebrated for ending the Cold War. At home, many Russians were pissed at him for letting their great empire collapse, precipitating an economic crisis. Make no mistake, Gorby still controlled a massive military and could have fought to keep the Soviet Union together. It would have been ghastly, with countless deaths. But he just let it go, earning him the Nobel Peace Prize. Nevertheless, the loss of empire created a vacuum filled by crime, corruption, and right-wing nationalism.

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