On This Day in History: December 24

The West Point Riot

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Is it just me, or is eggnog kinda fuckin’ gross? I can definitely understand the desire to booze the shit up to make it more palatable. And on Christmas Eve 1826 a bunch of West Point cadets did exactly that, and they got so fucked up they rioted. One of the rioters was the future president of the treasonous Confederate States of We Want to Enslave People, Jefferson Douchebag Davis.

--On This Day in History Shit Went Down: December 24, 1826--

Small dairy farms were all over the place in 19th-century America, and people drank their milk; eggnog was popular for adding booze to. Not just rum, but they put sherry, brandy, and whiskey in the stuff. President Washington was a fan of the alcoholic nog.

At West Point Academy possession of alcohol was forbidden, and drunkenness was a big no no, even at Christmas. But young men can be ingenious when it comes to breaking the rules for the purposes of getting fucked up. After failing to get booze at a local tavern, two days before the party cadets secured the cooperation of a security guard to take a boat across the Hudson River to a more cooperative tavern owner who sold them two gallons of whiskey and a gallon of rum.

They smuggled the booze back to the North barracks and hid it for the December 24 festivities. The day before Christmas the party started late, at 10 p.m. By 2 a.m. on Christmas Day, things were getting rowdy, and the party had spread to the South barracks as well. At 4 a.m. Captain Hitchcock, a faculty member, showed up at the North Barracks and literally read the Riot Act. They said fuck you Hitchcock and a fight broke out. In the South barracks Lieutenant Thornton attempted to control the raucous revelry and for his troubles was knocked unconscious.

Then shit got crazy. Windows were smashed and a pistol was fired in an attempt to kill Captain Hitchcock. It turned into an actual riot of approximately 70 cadets fucked up on boozy eggnog. Then the arrests started, with some of the cooler-headed cadets helping officers in restoring order.

Reveille sounded at 6:05 a.m., and it was still a shitshow of random gunfire, profanity, sounds of breaking glass, and moans of hungover pain. Some cadets were still in their rooms getting hammered, while others dragged their disheveled and drunken asses to parade. 

The officers used the term mutiny, and there was hell to pay. There were 19 courts martial resulting in numerous expulsions. Jefferson Davis spent over a month confined to barracks for his role. Two of those expelled (Benjamin Humphries and Hugh Mercer) later became traitorous generals in the traitorous Confederate Army.

Merry Christmas. Try not to riot.

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