On This Day in History: December 11

Hitler declares war on the U.S.

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I do declare, war. Because . . . reasons? That’s the puzzle in why Nazi Germany declared war on the United States. I mean, fucking Nazis were bugshit bonkers to begin with, but Hitler’s decision to pick a fight with America while already fighting a bunch of other people remains a mystery.

--On This Day in History Shit Went Down: December 11, 1941--

It was four days after Japan bombed Pearl Harbor. The U.S. logically reacted with “You motherfuckers! We’re gonna war the shit out of you.” But relationships between the U.S. and Germany at that point, while far from amicable, were not in a state of war. America was trying to remain out of the actual fighting in Europe, because war sucks and the U.S. doesn’t have the greatest record when it comes to trying to stop genocide. Rather, they . . . actually, that’s a whole ‘nother article.

Anyway, Japan and Germany were allies, but Japan didn’t provide Hitler with any advance warning that it was gonna bomb the shit out of Hawaiʻi on December 7. And according to their agreement, Germany only had to come to Japan’s aid if another country attacked Japan, not if Japan attacked another country first. Germany’s foreign minister, Joachim von Ribbentrop, reminded Hitler that Germany was under no obligation to declare war on the U.S., but Hitler was all yeah fuck it lets spread the horror. He didn’t seem to care that it would add another substantial enemy force to what Germany was already fighting, and this was six months after Germany had invaded Russia, where things were definitely not going well for the fucking Nazis.

It’s believed Hitler didn’t think much of American military resolve, seeing it as corrupt and “Jewish dominated.” And so, without much consultation or preparation, at 3 p.m. on December 11, 1941, Hitler gave a speech declaring war on the United States. The American reply was bring it on, motherfucker; they declared war back later that day.

English historian Sir Ian Kershaw said of Hitler’s declaration that he was “attempting to seize the initiative.” However, “it was a move from weakness, not strength. And it was more irrational than any strategic decision taken to that date.”

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