Fuck this guy. And by that, I mean no one ever should have fucked this guy.
--On This Day in History Shit Went Down: April 22, 1500--
His name was Pedro Álvares Cabral, and he was the impetus to fucking over half a continent. A minor Portuguese nobleman, Cabral was tasked with leading a spice-buying expeditionary fleet to India, traveling via the newly discovered Cape of Good Hope in South Africa.
Pedro took the scenic route.
For reasons unknown, Cabral was like that station-wagon-driving dad who refuses to ask for directions. He went way wide of the intended route through the Atlantic, and on April 22, 1500, the fleet made landfall on the coast of what would later be named Brazil. They immediately encountered indigenous inhabitants and had friendly first contacts, presenting them with gifts.
Then he left them in peace. Haha, jk.
Cabral spent about 10 days in Brazil, during which time he reprovisioned his fleet and introduced the locals to Jesus. He also claimed the land for Portugal, DESPITE THE FACT THAT THERE WERE ALREADY A BUNCH OF PEOPLE LIVING THERE.
Before continuing on to India, Cabral dispatched one of his ships back home to inform King Manuel I of the righteous find, ripe for exploiting.
Three decades later, Portuguese colonization of Brazil began in earnest, and with colonization, comes genocide. I mean, if the Portuguese hadn’t done it, it’s a certainty the Spaniards would have genocided the fuck out of the locals instead. And if not the Spaniards, the English or French would have been happy to. Homo sapiens excel at genocide; we’ve been wiping other hominids from the face of the earth for several dozen millennia.
Genocide. Genocide. Genocide.
You know how if you say a word a bunch of times it begins to sound weird? Not so with “genocide.” It’s a motherfucker every single time.
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In the century following Cabral’s first contact, of approximately 2.5 million indigenous people living in the region at the time, a staggering 90% were wiped out, mostly due to the spread of European diseases such as smallpox, for which they had no immunity, but also from constant war with European colonizers, enslavement, and starvation. Oh, and there was plenty of rape too.
It’s not all ancient history, either. After Brazil won its independence in 1822, the slaughter didn’t stop. Encroachment into the Amazon continues unabated, and the indigenous population now represents a mere 0.4% of the country’s total.
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