I Will Never Have Hair Like Kurt Russell

So I cut it off

Growing up I loved Escape from New York and The Thing. Then Escape from L.A. came out and it was crap but damn Kurt’s hair looked good. Kurt still looks great.

I always thought there were plenty of guys who looked really good with long hair, but never tried it. I have fine hair that doesn’t do much, but when Covid first hit I decided that I wouldn’t get my hair cut again until I was vaccinated. My son joined me for 13 of those 16 months, but decided to get it cut for his university graduation photos.

I really didn’t like long hair and don’t know how people can stand it. It was always falling in my eyes and stayed wet a long time and sucked while wearing a bike helmet etc. Just not for me. So once I was two weeks post my second vaccine, it was time to chop it off. My wife couldn’t wait. She hated it as much as I did.

But the night before, my daughter and my son’s girlfriend decided to have some fun with it. I was going to make this post subscriber’s only and use it to drive more subscribers, but then figured that was a dick move. So, please reward my “altruism” my becoming a paid subscriber where you get access to lots of subscriber-only content, including my recent experimenting with fiction writing.

Here is how it looked before we started. Very not Kurt Russell.

Sixteen months worth of hair? Guess it grows pretty slow.

In order to get the dye to take, it had to be bleached first.

And then there was the dyeing. Happy Pride Month!

And then the braiding.

More braiding.

Pig tails!

I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw them.

My haircut wasn’t scheduled until the afternoon, so I had to go show it off by going for a long bike ride with my best friend with the pink flowing out of the back of my helmet. We ran into my sister, who I’d not hugged for 18 months. But we’re both doubly vaccinated now.

And then, finally, it was all gone.

My wife is very pleased. My daughter said I looked ten years younger. I’m just not meant for long hair.

Experiment over.

Oh, and please . . .