I’d say it was a dark day in Alberta yesterday, but that’s pretty much every fucking day. Albertabama is Canadian hillbilly heaven, with inbred Jed spending his two weeks off from being a rig pig to engage in competitive cousin fucking. For these feckless fuckwipes, driving around in an $80,000 planet killer F250 with a bumper sticker that says “I Heart Alberta Oil & Gas” and waving a “Fuck Trudeau” flag while complaining about a carbon tax is their entire personality.
This is why we have the most idiotic premier imaginable: Danielle Smith. She’s an anti-vaccine conspiracy theorist and has stupid she hasn’t even used yet. She only narrowly won the leadership last spring, so it’s only slightly more than half the voting public in this province that’s dumb as all fuck. Anyway, last night Tucker Carlson was speaking in Calgary, and Smith opened the event by fangirling like a champion.
This photo taken last night of her, Jordan Peterson, Tucker, and convicted fraudster Conrad Black blew up on Twitter. Not just felony fraud, but obstruction of justice that got Black sentenced to 42 months in prison. Except then that dayglo taint stain Trump pardoned him, because of course.
What’s hilarious is that dumbass Danielle shared this photo on Twitter with the comment “Free speech means you don’t just have to talk to the mainstream media.” True, but Jorp and Black both have columns in the National Post, and Tucker of course was the leading mouthpiece for Fox News. In other words, the mainstream media.
Another photo was shared by a pencil-necked Nazi weasel I nicknamed Incel Caillou. The guy on the right is Brett Wilson, whose reason for living is a combination of poisoning the planet by not cleaning up his old oil wells, and hating Trudeau. Singer Sarah McLachlan dated Brett for a brief period, and after she learned what he was truly like she dumped his ass and wrote a song about the douchebucket titled “Monster.”
If you do decide to google that, the feature photo will suddenly make sense.
Anyway, speaking of Keean Caillou, years ago we had an exchange where he went searching for photos of me then tweeted this, and he was so eaten alive in the responses that he blocked me.
In other news, Joe Biden doesn’t need a lawyer to defend him, photoshopped or otherwise. Check out the mysteriously bending pillars on the left, and the umbrella pole on the right.
Another guy got slayed on Twitter for being a dipshit. Don’t get me wrong, I love the USA and about half of Americans, but I can’t imagine wanting to move there. Except maybe Hawai‘i.
And finally, don’t be like Steve. Buy all the books. Including mine: ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY SH!T WENT DOWN.
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I think Canada and the US should coordinate a one-time "citizen exchange" event. US citizens weary of the redneck-ization of the country could take the opportunity to permanently relocate to Canada. Likewise, the Trump-loving Canadian hicks could up stakes and go live among their own in Texas or any of the former confederate (I refuse to capitalize the word) states.
My city in Alberta is probably the most conservative in the country. I could be wrong, but it's definitely near the top of the list. Most of the planet killers are actually F350s (or Ram3500s and other similarly large trucks that no one can park) usually with unnecessarily massive lift kits that make them impossible to take off the pavement. They claim it's necessary because this is oil country. It's really not. My F150 work trucks get around just fine. Most of these guys either aren't patch workers, or drive company trucks anyway. But I digress. Not only do these trucks all have "I heart AB Oil", "I heart AB Oil & Gas", or some other variation, in addition to their different versions of F*ck Trudeau (written with the star, written fully, or the stickman humping the word Trudeau), but I've seen some that also have Trump 2020 decals.
EVERY single thing is Notley and Trudeau's fault. I kid you not. During that intense deep freeze we just had with -50 temps, there was a province wide emergency alert about the power grid being overloaded, asking people to reduce electricity usage. Half of what I saw on the city subreddit and Facebook pages was people saying they were going to use even more power, because they don't give a fuck if everyone else loses power, because they have fireplaces or wood stoves. There was also a decent chunk who honest to God blamed Notley for that. Some said it was her and Trudeau's fault, because they're in bed together.
Then there's the near daily discussions on the same Facebook pages about the doctor shortage and health care crisis, blaming Notley and Trudeau again. Danielle Shit is currently attempting to privatize our Healthcare, among other things, to push doctors and nurses out and reduce the ability for people to actually access Healthcare. Meanwhile Notley was trying to actually fix the problem by building new infrastructure (I had an old friend who was supposed to move to a new state of the art lab that would help with the backlog of lab samples) which was all promptly shut down by Kenney and his cronies. The crisis during covid that had the military and red cross come to help was simultaneously Notley's fault and fake at the same time. I guess Notley was faking this crisis to gain support or some shit, I don't even know anymore. Their "logic" is so fucked up, any sane person can't even follow it. The hospital here was so overloaded (and in most of the Province iirc) that they were almost at the point of triaging who continued to receive medical attention and who would be left to die, essentially. That was Notley's fault too.
And that's not even touching on the homo/transphobia here. I work closely with the 2SLGBTQIA+ community, being a member myself, and its downright dangerous for our community here. Last year, my organization hosted a valentines day dance, which was posted to the most toxic group there is on Facebook. The venue, as well as our organization, received so many threats, the venue almost canceled on us, and we've since been essentially banned from there. They will not host an event for us again. This February, we're holding our 20th anniversary fundraiser, and we've had to balance advertising for ticket sales with safety, resulting in half as many tickets as we had hoped. We have had to hire security for the event out of fear for the safety of attendees. Drag Story Hour during last year's literacy week at the library received so much backlash, over 200 community members showed up to support the Queen (who I've had the honor of meeting and working with, and is also performing at our fundraiser), there was a whole security detail of people acting as human shields to protect the Queen outside the library. Someone even pulled the fire alarm, and despite being caught on security cameras, he was shockingly never identified.
I'm sure I really don't need to be telling you all of this, but at this point it's a much needed rant about the hellhole this city and province have become. I've said before that it feels like this tension between the right and left in this city keeps building and building, and one day it will hit a breaking point. I don't expect any sort of war necessarily, but already the protests and counter-protests have been getting more frequent, and more heated, and I wouldn't be surprised if one of them resulted in violence breaking out.