Aussie Prime Minister Harold Holt Declared Drowned

On This Day in History: December 19, 1967

When a head of government dies, especially while still holding office, there is usually a big show of national mourning and a fancy funeral. But what if there is no body? What if the popular leader of the nation just . . . disappeared?

--On This Day in History Shit Went Down: December 19, 1967--

His name was Harold Holt, and as far as Australian politicians go, he wasn’t a total dick. He had some progressive ideas. In 1966 he took over as head of the Liberal Party of Australia when his predecessor, Robert Menzies, retired. That made him prime minister without having been elected, but there was an election a few months later and Holt’s party won in a landslide.

One of the cool things he did was amend the constitution to further dismantle the “White Australia” policy and promote equal rights for the country’s Aboriginal population. But he also expanded the country’s involvement in the Vietnam War, proclaiming he was “all the way with LBJ,” referencing his support for U.S. president Johnson. People at home weren’t thrilled about that.

Holt was an avid swimmer and spear-fisher. On December 17, 1967, he was with four friends at Cheviot Beach in the state of Victoria in southern Australia. The conditions were rough, but he proclaimed to “know this beach like the back of my hand.” Only one of the other four joined him in the rough water, staying close to shore. But Holt, having more courage than brains, did a “hold my Foster’s Lager,” swam into deep water, and was caught in a rip current that carried him out to sea.

Kinda fucked up for his buddies. “Hey, there goes our friend Harold, who also happens to be the leader of our nation, being washed out to sea.” By the way, Aussie readers, I know most of you think Foster’s is piss.

A massive search was launched, but Holt was never seen again, his body wasn’t recovered, and he probably became fish poop. Two days later, on December 19, 1967, Prime Minister Harold Holt was declared dead.

Of course, there were conspiracy theories. Some said he used the water to take his own life. Others said he faked his death, or was murdered by the CIA, or was picked up by a submarine so he could defect to China. On a sort-of personal note, the name of Holt’s widow’s first husband—the guy she divorced to be with Holt—was James Fell. Creepy. Maybe she should have stayed with James, because in my experience guys with that name are faithful husbands, and Harold had allegedly cheated on his wife, Zara, with dozens of women.

Anyway, because Australians have a fucked-up sense of humor, they named a public swimming pool after the guy.

Those who cannot remember the past need a history teacher who says “fuck” a lot. Get both volumes of On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down. They make great gifts and ‘tis the season n’ shit.

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