ADHD and Me

Dialling down the self-imposed pressure

This post is for paying subscribers.

For all the new folks, I put that previous “paying subscribers” bit in so you know what kind of post it is. And by that I mean it’s not a secret history post that I hide from everyone else. Unless you’re talking about personal history. These stories are usually more about me, my career, and how I try to keep from losing my shit.

For the first time in over four years, I think I’m feeling okay.

Things went to shit when The Holy Sh!t Moment was published in January of 2019. Because that book was supposed to launch my writing career to new heights and despite all my best efforts it just fucking tanked. Of course, now I’m ever so thrilled it tanked, but at the time I was devastated.

A year later, after putting lots of effort into additional self-help book ideas that I imagined could sell, things weren’t looking good. With the publishing industry, it’s difficult to overcome a book that didn’t perform, and I wasn’t coming up with that winning idea that would turn things around. In need of money, I planned to focus on a speaking career instead, but then fucking Covid. The sweary history column was born out of desperation. It was a Hail Mary, and the receiver made the catch.

But my anxiety did not wane. I was worried about Covid, worried about Trump, and worried about this new career. A year and a half later I was vaccinated, making lots of money, and Trump was out but I was still an anxious wreck, and that’s when the ADHD diagnosis happened.