A Mandalorian Post with No Mention of Baby Yoda
Small spoiler warning for the most recent episode of The Mandalorian. But really, the instant you saw Michael Biehn you should have known he was gonna die. Because that’s what Michael Biehn does. I interviewed Michael in 2013 for the Los Angeles Times and this was the opening for the piece I wrote:
Somewhere there is a casting agent who, whenever he needs a butt-kicking soldier to die valiantly, thinks, “Michael Biehn.” Recall “Terminator,” “The Rock” or “The Abyss.” All soldiers, all KIA. Even when Biehn played a cowboy in “Tombstone,” it ended with a bullet to the brain.
I’ll link all referenced interviews at the bottom, but I want to talk about meeting Michael and his wife, and the strange other meeting with a celebrity that happened after the interview that I’ve been reluctant to write about until now. In fact, there are a couple of things I’ve been reluctant to write about that I’m coming forward with.
Okay. There was a comic convention and Michael was in town, so I met him and his wife in the restaurant at the Palliser Hotel in Calgary where they were staying. Nice place. Anyway, Michael and his wife were super friendly. I’ve interviewed numerous celebrities and they stood as the most kind and welcoming along with Adam Savage from Mythbusters, and Phil Collen from Def Leppard.
This next part is the weird part. I didn’t want to post it on social media because that’s a large audience, and this is a smaller one so . . . I guess it’s okay?
I met Linda Hamilton.
We’d finished the interview and Linda, who was Michael’s co-star in The Terminator, shows up at our table and says hello. I’m briefly taken aback. The first two Terminator movies are amazing, and I love them. Nevertheless, I have lots of practice not visibly geeking out with celebrities (although internally I sometimes do). Michael introduced me to Linda as “James from the Los Angeles Times” and I stood up and shook her hand and said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
She wouldn’t let go of my hand.
She didn’t death grip it, but she put also put her left hand on top, so she was using both hands to shake my one, and she didn’t let go. She acted strange, saying, “You’re a very nice man”. Twice. It got awkward and I’m thinking What do I do? Do I pull my hand away? Do I tell her she’s a very nice woman? This is weird and I don’t know how to handle it.
Instead I said, “Thank you.” And just let her keep shaking my hand and making weird eye contact and after an eternity she finally let go.
I never publicly wrote about that before now because I didn’t want to seem disparaging of her. She was nice and I love her work and it was just an odd and awkward exchange that stuck with me. So that’s in your brain now.
The other thing I was reluctant to mention was that I’ve interviewed Gina Carano, also in 2013. I bring her up because she’s another recurring star in The Mandalorian. The issue I had with that interview was my opening line for the interview: “Tough women are hot.” Again, it was seven years ago and I’ve learned some things since then. It was also written for a site called AskMen, if that tells you anything. These days I would never write something like that. Perhaps it doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, but it does to me. It’s embarrassing and, well, wrong. I’ve written an article (also linked at bottom) about how we shouldn’t advertise what we find attractive, and the reason for that is that it sends a message to people who don’t fit with your idea of hot telling them that you don’t consider them attractive. At the same time, it adds no value. Who gives a fuck what I think is hot?
To be clear, everyone is allowed to have their opinions on what they do and do not find attractive, but advertising it to the world does no good and potentially harms. “I prefer women to not wear makeup” gets read by a woman who spends a lot of time and effort on hers. Maybe she says fuck that guy or maybe it stings. Better to play it safe and keep it to yourself, I say.
Conversely, I think it’s okay to say I no longer consider Gina Carano attractive since her negative comments about trans people and her fleeing to Parler with her anti-mask bullshit. Anyway, I’ll toot my own horn about one other Star Wars connection and that’s my interview with Andy Serkis, who played Snoke in the latest trilogy. He’s the same guy who played Gollum in Lord of the Rings and Caesar in Planet of the Apes. He’s a cool guy.
Anyway, next time you see Michael Biehn in a TV show or movie, don’t expect him to live through it.
LINKS
I’ll give the cached version for the LA Times pieces, so you don’t have to subscribe.